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Good Discipline - Silence

SILENCE: Reflecting & Listening

“Jonathan, I have a discipline I want you to practice…do you know what that is?” My DUS instructor said to me after class one day

I raised my eyes, then looked back at the ground, I knew exactly what it was…

“Silence”

I shared with you in my earlier blog post entitled “Discover of Noise” that I am a loud person. I enjoy noise, I have music on right now as I’m typing this article on Silence. I had spent a lot of time hearing about this discipline, even read about it in George’s book about a month earlier but it was never one I was very good at. That morning Greg challenged me to spend a week in silence, I remember walking back into my apartment and slamming my fist down on the counter, who was he to tell me to spend a week in silence.

Then I stopped and I prayed “God is you want me to do this then let me know and I’ll do it”…I didn’t like God’s answer. I decided to obey though, knowing deep down that this would be good for me, how good I didn’t know, but somehow it would be good. I made it through the first two days, but on the third I woke up extremely depressed. Now I know I couldn’t talk, so I couldn’t tell anyone, this was God’s preparation for that time in the Labyrinth that I’ve described so many times.

Silence serves two main purposes within the Christian Walk; Reflecting and Listening. These two purposes help us move closer to God and allow Him to work out the things in our lives that we are not letting Him work out as well as knowing who God is and what His will for us is in our lives.

Reflecting on a Holy God

Christian George writes; “The discipline of silence is a natural reaction of God’s holiness. When we get a glimpse of who God is we find that His voice is deeper than out own. His words are worth listening too” (Godology, 62).This is certainly true, Isaiah gets to see God’s holiness and glory on full display in 6:1-7 and the only thing he can say is “Woe is me, for I am lost, I am a man of unclean lips and I dwell amongst a people of unclean lips, for my eyes have seen the Lord of Hosts” (v. 5 ESV).

Silence is humbling, as is God’s Holiness. I don’t think any of us would react differently to what Isaiah is describing if we were in the same situation. Another example would be driving through a thunderstorm, I find that the scarier the storm the quieter I tend to get, storms show us God’s power. So a few weeks ago as we were driving home from Formal I watched the sky in silence, occasionally offering something to the conversation, watching for one of the many Tornado’s we’d heard about.

In those times of silence we really get to reflect and think about God’s Holiness. It gives us a chance to think about God’s awesome power, even looking back to see God’s power in our lives. I love to sit and think back on that Labyrinth experience, think about how I encountered God on that mountain and how it has forever impacted and changed my life. I also think back to my salvation, on a cold concrete floor in Cleveland Ohio and how God has been working since then. In these times of Silence I get to really know God and His works, but I also get to listen.

Listening to a Holy God

Listening is really hard, especially if we need to listen to instruction or to directions, listening to God is even tougher at times because He isn’t physically manifesting Himself before us. As much as I wish we could, we don’t get that Isaiah like moment where we get to stand before the most Holy God and hear Him audibly talk to us.

Instead we have to come to a place where we have quieted our spirits, to a place where like the psalmist we can wait on the Lord (see Ps 130-131). In a world that is constantly screaming at us this kind of quieting our spirits can be even harder. We have to shut off the music, turn off the laptops, get away from our cell phones and forsake our social lives for a little while and really get away.

There’s a reason Jesus told the disciples “But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you” (Matthew 6:6 ESV). Silence requires us to go away for a while, Jesus does this multiple times, most often coming back with some where new for His Disciples to go.

Coupling Silence and Prayer:

Silence and prayer are two Disciplines I believe should go together, when we pray we should be seeking, but seeking comes to fruition when we are quiet after that time. It’s so easy to pray and then get right back to our lives, but if we pray and listen than we have a better understanding of our mission and of God’s direction for our lives.

Why is Silence so Hard?

Christian George gives us a bit of wisdom in seeking to answer this question. He tells us; “we react to it violently sometimes, our own silence is an X-Ray machine and we don’t like what we are – Loneliness, emptiness, insecurity. We fill up the hollow moments with noise. We blast the radio, blast the TV, Phone our friends. Why? To avoid the deafening roar within.” (Godology)

We won’t but George is absolutely right on this point, Silence forces us to deal with the things that we hold back. They come to the surface and we don’t want to encounter them, like Isaiah’s sinfulness was exposed in comparison to the glory of God so are sinfulness and strongholds are brought to the surface in those times. The kneejerk reaction of course is to run as fast we can the other way; the challenge is to of course not to.

-         -    -

So this is what it comes to, to sit in silence before God, reflecting and listening. This is a challenging and frightening discipline, but as I discovered at the end of my week of silence it is extremely rewarding as it allows God to draw close to us and us to draw close to Him. Once those things it exposes are worked through we will find ourselves in a much better place, a quieter place.

God Bless You

Jonathan Faulkner

10:31 Life Ministries

"My Soul Waits for The Lord

And in His word I hope"

PS. 130:5

Check out the rest of the Good Discipline Series: 

Good Discipline - Prayer, Obedience , Art,  Journaling 

Also Available from Jonathan David Faulkner

The Truth (10:31 Life Ministries Blog) 

Also available from 10:31 Life Ministries

A Chosen Generation (1 Peter 2:9): Mediocre Christianity  By Angel Edwards

College Commitment: Those Puzzled Athenians-and Us By David Faulkner 

Confessions of a College Freshmen: On Buying Groceries....By Amy Faulkner 

To Contact or Support 10:31 Life Ministries email us at: hi1031.ministries@yahoo.com

To Contact Jonathan Faulkner email him at: jonathan@altrocklive.com

This blog will be moving to Wordpress soon as 10:31 begins the process for a website launch. 

Good Discipline - Journaling

April 24, 2012

The fourth Discipline we will deal with is Journaling

JOURNALING: Letting the Soul out to Dry

           

            On the second to last day of the Denver Urban Semester we had a time when we exchange gifts that we had been challenged to make out of things we found around the apartments or the city. I made a bird out of macaroni and cheese (my meal for the summer) and wrote scripture on it, I was surprised it made it home. The gift I received was a small journal with a passage from 2 Corinthians 12 and a very encouraging letter from a the young woman who had drawn my name for the gift exchange. The first morning I wrote in that journal was the morning after I received it, I didn’t write in it again for two weeks.

            At that point Journaling was still a very new concept for me, I always thought that journaling was like keeping a diary. To me that meant keeping secrets from people and as my sisters probably did in their diaries “talk about boys.” On the other side of the coin it seemed that journaling was just too time consuming and I thought I was doing good enough just by getting into regularity with my quiet time schedule. Why should I add journaling, didn’t I write enough on this blog enough, why add another discipline.

Discovering God’s Vulnerability…

            Christian George starts off his chapter on journaling by reminding us of a very simple and easily forgotten truth, that Jesus stepped out of the glory of heaven and took on the skin of mankind (Godology Christian George, 52). That the Son of God in His infinite wisdom decided to set aside the riches and glory of heaven and step into man’s skin to discover what it was like just to be like us.

            When you look at it this way it’s easy to see how Jesus was vulnerable during his earthly ministry. For anyone of power to step down into the trenches with the people who they call workers or brothers opens the door for a lot of trouble. Look at the CBS show “Undercover Boss” where CEO’s and Executive’s from large corporation like NASCAR and White Castle disguise themselves as employees so they can better serve their employees.

            In a more perfect and better way this is what Christ did when He came down from heaven. He walked alongside us, hung out with the less desirable members of society and ticked off the richer upper echelon who thought they had it all figured out. Then, because of what Jesus taught a change came to that system, but for that change to happen Christ had to be stripped of all glory and crucified, be buried and raised to life. He had to become vulnerable and submissive, even to death on a cross (Phil 2:11).

…And Encountering Our Own

            How often do we actually want to admit that we are vulnerable? Think about it, we live in a culture that teaches us to be strong and to build walls on independence. Then when we think we have it figured out someone comes along and tells us we need to tone it down. These mixed messages often just make us angry and so we slip into a deadly apathy thinking we are not allowed to be anything.

            But then we hide that feeling too.

            I have discovered though, that journaling provides us a way to be vulnerable as well as a way to celebrate God’s vulnerability. We show our vulnerability by pouring out our hearts and our souls to Christ and writing down prayers.  I often use Journaling as a chance to write down what God is revealing to me in scripture, hardly to record the day’s events, but mostly to praise my creator. Journaling becomes a way of getting our emotions out, but it’s also good practice for actually showing that vulnerability within our friendships and other relationships as well.

Celebrating the Incarnation

            George has the following to say concerning this discipline

Journaling is an inward practice that reminds us of an upward reality-that God glued Himself to our planet. By inscribing our thoughts and prayers on paper, we appreciate Christ’s condescension, journaling is a celebration of the incarnation (55)

So journaling isn’t just therapeutic, it is, like Art, a way to celebrate the incarnation and bring glory to God.  When we acknowledge God in our private lives it becomes easier to acknowledge Him in our public lives. It gives us a chance to reflect on who God is and what exactly it is that He’s doing.

            If we are to seek out God on this level we may find that we will fall deeper and deeper in love with who He is and have a clearer view of who we are.

-         -   -

So why is Journalism a Discipline? Well we’ve seen how prayer, obedience and Art allow us to focus on God, and that’s what the discipline of Journalism does. It allows us to pray, write out what God is asking us to do, or even draw something. It also becomes a very good tool for looking back on what we were struggling with or what we were rejoicing in two or three days, weeks or months earlier.

So go and grab a notebook and pick up a pen and take the time to write down what you are starting to work through spiritually. Write out your prayers, or a scripture you are trying to memorize or an experience or whatever might be on your heart at the given time. Then sit back and reflect on what you’ve just written and see how deeply you start to fall in love with a God who is madly in love with you.

LET YOUR SOUL OUT TO DRY, GO, WRITE & REFLECT!

God Bless You

Jonathan David Faulkner

Also Available from the Good Discipline Series 

Good Discipline , Prayer , Obedience  Art. 

Also Available from Jonathan Faulkner

The Truth (10:31 Life Ministries Blog) 

Available titles from the 10:31 Life Ministries Writing Team

A Chosen Generation (1 Peter 2:9): Mediocre Christianity by Angel Edwards

College Commitment: Those Puzzled Athenians-and Us.  by Rev. David Faulkner 

Confessions of a College Freshmen: On Buying Your Own Groceries by Amy Faulkner 

To contact or support 10:31 Life Ministries email us at: hi1031.ministries@yahoo.com

To contact Jonathan Faulkner email him at: Jonathan@altrocklive.com

Good Discipline - Art

April 17, 2012

For the fourth week on my series I'm talking about the discipline of art.

ART: Exhibiting God's Creativity 

On page 79 of his Novel Transapparent  Roy Stucky records the following conversation between a pastor and his wife. 

Wendy, told her husband "I believe you should open up about art."
"We have the arts in our church"
"Only bible dramatizations and praise music"
"That's what belongs in church." 

 The point of this exchange, and the rest of the conversation, is to show that art is probably the least encouraged discipline within the church. Unless of course you are a drama teacher, graphic designer or play some kind of musical instrument. Just as pastor Zane said to his wife "that's what belongs in the church," it's sad to think but Roy Stucky's got the church pegged, he also understand the importance of other forms of art finding their way into the church. But things like painting, crafts, dancing and drawing are not encouraged, in fact some denominations even frown on them. 

My dear friends Alex and Angel love to do art, and they are wonderful at it. When you walk into their room you can't help but notice the colorful paintings and drawings hung up on the wall, some they have done together, some they have done separately. Not only do they bring glory to God through their art, they also show us a quality of God we rarely think about. 

God's Creativity: 

Christian George writes; 

God is artistically oriented and He seeks to share His inclination with His re-made creatures. But art is rarely considered a spiritual discipline, it's not like fasting, praying, meditating or even Labyrinth Walking. It's not even proscribed in scripture, But by surrendering to God the creativity we deepen our spiritual awareness. By sketching a sunset or pointing at plants we adore the God who paints the skies and hangs the heavens. (Godology, Christian George, 42)

It's strange to think of God being artistically oriented, especially because we generally talk about nature in the sense of God's glory. But there had to be a beginning to the glory that is revealed through nature (Romans 1:20) there had to be a beginning, just one of the innumerable thoughts of God (Psalms 139:18) had to be creative, if not all of them. Look at the intricacies of nature, tell me it didn't take a well formed thought to create the human brain with all its functions.

Then consider the transformation in your own life, just as George points out "God creates and re-creates us." In Psalms 139:13-16 David writes of God knowing his frame and forming his inmost parts while he was still in his mothers womb. Then at the time when we become Christians, we move from sinner to new men and women who are now made new in Christ (Galatians 2:10).

Exhibiting God's Creativity and Glory


When I think of my friends Alex and Angel and their artwork I can't help but praise God. It is truly and exhibition of God's creativity and glory, they are rejoicing in God and He is undoubtedly rejoicing in them. In my own life art takes the form of songwriting, but not in the traditional worship song sense but the kind that has been called not "corporate." Not church music, but songs written from seeing the pain and beauty from my own life and the lives of others. .

Capturing God's glory through his creativity allows others to worship and praise God as well. We may not think about it when we look at a painting, but seeing a painting like my friends can draw us into God, help us fall deeper in love with Him. The psalms give us a great example all throughout of poetry and songs written to praise and help the reader to fall deeper in love with a God who loves us!

Art doesn't just exhibit God's creativity, it also exhibits His glory, allows us to praise God in a different form and help others to acknowledge the being greater than any other conceivable being.

Becoming an Artist 

One thing I've found to be true in my own life is that the closer I get to God, the more I surrender to Him the more my creative abilities come out. Consider that before my experience this summer I had written a total of 4 songs to completion, since returning God has inspired me to write 7 or 8 more, and I've even considered taking up drawing perspective again. My song writing has also taken on a different form, more encouragement, a little more worship and definatly a lot more originality.

As we draw near to God, He draws near to us and our personalities that He gave us, and with that our creative abilities start to come forward. I find the more I am pursing God the more I want to create by writing, singing a new lyric, writing a new guitar rift and as I said even draw.

Art is something God uses to draw others to Him, so why not let the church hold painting classes as Roy Stucky suggests. Why not get a group of Christians together who love to dance and form a church dance team? Why not practice art so that others can see the glory of God and rejoice in His creativity!

I hope my dear friends Alex and Angel never give up their art! Let's join them in praising the God who creates and re-creates us, bringing glory and honor to Him who makes all things and makes them good!

God Bless You
Jonathan Faulkner
10:31 Life Ministries

Art is God's Creativity Expressed through us

Let us write Poetry, sing songs and paint for Him

Also Available in the Good Discipline Series from Jonathan Faulkner
Good Discipline
Good Discipline - Prayer
Good Discipline - Obedience

Also Available from Jonathan Faulkner
The Truth (10:31 Life Ministries Blog)

Also Available from 10:31 Life Ministries
A Chosen Generation: Called Beyond Societies Standards  by Angel Edwards
The College Commitment: Those Puzzled Athenians-and Us by David Faulkner
Con of a College Freshmen; On Buying Groceries and Other Things By Amy Faulkner

Check out and like 10:31 Life Ministries on Facebook.
To Contact 10:31 Life Ministries email us at: hi1031.ministries@yahoo.com
To Contact Jonathan Faulkner email him at: jonemanarmy24@yahoo.com

Good Discipline - Obedience

April 10, 2012

The second of Christian George’s 11 Spiritual Disciplines is the Discipline of Obedience

OBEDIENCE: What Now?

My parents will attest to this, but I never wanted to obey growing up. In fact, we were given what mom called Chore Charts and I would do my best to make sure I avoided having to do those chores. When it came to school I lived in very similar rebellion, I knew the precepts set out in scripture, I’d been taught all about spiritual abuse, I knew I was a Pharisee, expecting others to obey what I thought they should while not obeying what God was telling me to do.

The best example of my insolence has to be my decision on where to go to college. I remember I was so drawn in by Indiana Wesleyan University, by the big atmosphere, the many majors to choose from. I shuddered at the thought that God might want me to  go to a little town in Sterling, resisted it, fought against it. It didn’t make sense to me to go to a place so not-urban to study Urban Ministry. I learned though, that God is in the business of doing things that don’t make sense to us.

I battled, fought God’s will for most of the early years of my Christian walk, all the way up until the summer of my Junior Year of College, up until DUS and that fateful week of silence. Up until that point I wanted nothing to do with spiritual disciplines, obedience was far from the top of my priority list, I wanted more than anything to have my will, and my will was quickly failing me.

It makes sense to me, but it might not make sense to you, but we are actually much worse off when we disobey. Think about it this way, if the conductor of a train is told to head to a siding because there is a Freight coming, but disobeys that order because to him; “time is more important, and I’m behind schedule.” Then there are going to be dire consequences for not following that order.

When we choose to follow our wills over God’s, we can have similar incidents. If the wills of two people don’t line up, they will butt heads and friendships will suffer.

Obedience, especially to the will of God, will help us to avoid those incidents. Two people who are totally surrendered to the will of God will get done the work of the kingdom much quicker than two people who are trying to work their own plans into the kingdom. A great example of this can be found within the confines of the 10:31 Life Ministry Leadership Team. Because we all want the will of God in our lives and for this Ministry, God has given us the ability to work together, seeking after Him in prayer and devotional time. Because we see the need within the kingdom, and because we believe that God put this need on our hearts, we can move together, make decisions quickly and be effective workers for the kingdom.

Some might say at this point “Well that’s great for you, why should I obey?” The truth here is two-fold, the first is that Jesus obeyed, Take a look at Mark 1:35-39. Here, after one of the busiest days of Jesus Ministry the Messiah doesn’t sleep in. Instead it says “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus left the house and went out to solitary place and prayed” (v 31 NIV).  So Jesus applies our first Discipline (Prayer), from his response to the Disciples found in verse 38 we can probably assume he spent that time seeking the will of the father. Because instead of staying “Jesus replied, "Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also. That is why I have come” (NIV)

In the Garden of Gethsemane we .see another picture of Jesus praying, this time his words are actually recorded. Luke 22:42 gives us this prayer “Father if you are willing take this cup from me, yet not my will but yours be done” (NIV). Here Christ is resigning himself to the will of God, “not my will, but yours be done” if we only we would pray this prayer. If we are to be imitators of Christ (Phil. 2:5-11) then shouldn’t we seek the will of the father, then obey that will like Christ did? In my life, the answer is yes!

The second truth is that God wants to be good to us, again I go to scripture, to Romans 8:28. “And we know that God works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” We can take this to mean that all things will work for our good, if we are surrendered and willing to obey God’s purpose. When we are living in rebellion, disobeying God, we are not doing what He has called us to do, therefore who will it work out for us, most likely not to our liking or benefit.

But when we surrender to God, when we obey, we begin to discover His heart and we are blessed by Him for our obedience. Situations still might not work out to our liking, but God uses those moments to teach us something about Himself and about ourselves, to mold and shape us into His image, so we defiantly benefit. Since I’ve surrendered God has allowed my friendships to grow exponentially, I haven’t been blessed with financial means, but with relational means, something more valuable than money. Not that God doesn’t bless people in other ways, indeed He will bless each of us according to His will.

Prayer and Obedience go hand in hand, we must pray to know the will of God, to discover His direction for our lives. Then once we know that direction, we have to act on it, or face the consequences.

God’s intent is not to destroy us, but if we are disobeying, habitually rebelling He will eventually get our attention, sometimes in unpleasant ways. This breaking is good for us, and I pray if you are experiencing that right now that you let God lead you through it, trust me, the end result is far better than your current situation.

So I challenge you to stop fighting, lay down your will and seek out and practice obedience to the will of God. Dear friends, it will go great for us as we seek to be imitators of Christ.

God Bless You

Jonathan Faulkner

10:31 Life Ministries 

Also Available from Jonathan Faulkner

Good Disciplines

Good Discipline - Prayer

The Truth: Why Love the Word?

Also Available from 10:31 Life Ministries 

A Chosen Generation (1 Peter 2:9): Called Beyond...by Angel Edwards 

College Commitment: The Toughest Test by David Faulkner 

Confessions of a College Freshmen: On Buying Your Own Groceries...by Amy Faulkner 

To contact or support 10:31 Life Ministries check us out on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/1031ministries

Or Email us at: hi1031.ministries@yahoo.com

To contact Jon, email him at: jonemanarmy24@yahoo.com

Good Disciplines - Prayer

March 31, 2012

I think it's time, as I've been talking a lot about disciplines to start to expand on these disciplines. So I am going to use the eleven spiritual disciplines set forth by writer Christian George in his book Godology: because knowing God changes everything. These eleven Disciplines can be found on page fifteen of the introduction where George challenges his readers to trade their rakes for shovels and go deep.The 11 Disciplines that George outlines are Prayer, Obedience, Art, Journaling, Silence, Fasting, Vow Making, Meditation, Solitude, Labyrinth Walking, Practicing God's Presence.

These 11 Disciplines, when applied at different seasons of our lives build on our relationship with Christ and can even help us build on our relationship with one another. So for the next 11 posts of this blog we will be looking at what I call "Good Discipline" and specifically the 11 that George has given us.

The first is Prayer.

Prayer; More Than God's Telephone

I like to think of Prayer as a telephone, yes I know this is definatly an inadequate example. There is more to prayer than just being able to call God, as we'll discover, it's about communicating with God, actually communicating with Him. When we pray we can be by ourselves or we can gather together in a small or large group and pray together, we can pray one on one, we can pray all the time.

Prayer is a very important Discipline, don't believe me consider that Luke gives us 11 instances of Jesus going out to pray by himself. In the book of John we get a whole two chapters of Jesus just praying for His disciples as He's about to go to the cross. Jesus last hours before getting being arrested were spent in such fervent prayer that one of the gospel writers describes as "sweat like drops of blood." Prayer is important, if it wasn't there wouldn't be instructions given to us in Matthew 6:5-14.

So prayer is important, but what is it? And what is it not? I recently put out an article on praying in troubled times. In that article my words may have come across more as Therapeutic Deism, that was not my intent, God will not make our suffering better, He will give us a way to get through, that is why praying in times of trouble is important. So prayer is not some way to make us feel better. Prayer is also not a way for us to boast, consider the Parable of the Pharisee told in Luke 18:9-14, who thanked God that he was not like the tax collector, while the tax collector couldn't even lift his eyes he was so ashamed of his sin. So prayer is not a way of boasting in our greatness, instead it is something to be done in secret (see Matthew 6:7) or humbly in groups (Matthew 18:20).

Praying helps to build unity between us and God as well as us and other believers. I remember a night not too long ago when the 10:31 Life Ministry Team got together with a few of our friends and prayed over our campus. In that moment we were all united in a common prayer and in the fact that we were, through prayer seeking after God. One night, after a particular troubling situation was brought to my attention, my brother and I went down to the lake and spent and hour in silence, praying and seeking God through scripture. In this moment we were united with God as we sought to align our wills with His.

Often times we use prayer for our own personal gain. I can remember several nights (and will have many more) when I've prayed for God to give me a good grade on a test I didn't adequately study for.. Other prayers I've prayed include really wanting a relationship, or even what I'm going to wear the next day (no giggles please). But in going to God for what I want never seemed to satisfy me, and to be honest I never got what I wanted, and if I did it was only temporary.

Prayer, especially contemplative prayer, is a time to discover the will of God. What do I mean by contemplative prayer? I mean what Henri Nouwn meant when he wrote "Contemplative prayer deepens in us the knowledge that we are already free, that we have already found a place to dwell, that we already belong to God" (In the Name of Jesus, Henri Nouwen, Crossroad Publishing, 1989). By this we can say that when we are praying we enter into the presence of God.

Prayer is also a tool for thinking God, as kids we always used to pray "God is great, God is good, thank you Jesus for our food, give us Lord our daily bread....amen." We used to pray a prayer similar to this before every meal, it was a prayer of thanksgiving, thanking God for the food we were about to eat. Prayers of thanksgiving also take the form of thanking God for something that happened, a major life event like a promotion at work might inspire you to pray a prayer of thanksgiving.

Pray doesn't have to be audible, we can pray through thoughts, a few of my friends even write our prayers out, especially when we are praying for one another. It is not only encouraging, but, over distances, allows others to know that we are truly praying for them.

Prayer is our connection to God, Christian George calls it our "Direct line to divinity" (Godology, Christian George, moody pub. 2009). It is through prayer that we can actually have a conversation with God, to take our cares and burdens to Him, but also to hear directly from Him, to discern His will for specific situations we might be facing.

So right now I challenge you to take an hour out of your busy schedule and devote it to prayer, take your bible and pray the scriptures, pray the psalms, take your cares and your burdens to Him who wants to bring you into His rest (Hebrews 4:11). Then Listen, as the Lord meets you in that place hear what He has for you and pray for conformation.

Dear friends, in every situation, let us pray!

Jon Faulkner
10:31 Life Ministries

Also Available from Jonathan Faulkner
Good Discipline
Outta Control and Outta the Lifeboat
The Truth: Why Love the Word?

Also available from 10:31 Life Ministries
A Chosen Generation (1 Peter 2:9): Called Beyond Societies Standards by Angel Edwards
College Commitment: The Toughest Test by David Faulkner
Confessions of a College Freshmen: On Buying Groceries....by Amy Faulkner

To Learn more about 10:31 Life Ministries check us out on Facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/1031ministries

To contact or support 10:31 Life Ministries email us at: hi1031.ministries@yahoo.com
To Contact Jonathan Faulkner email him at: jonemanarmy24@yahoo.com

The Freedom Found in God's Will

March 27, 2012

I have never seen a picture of a happy slave, no matter what kind of slavery we are talking about, I have not seen anyone who is happy in captivity. In fact as I look at pictures of people who were involved in American slavery, or the modern sex slavery that plagues this world I see nothing but brokenness and pain. When I see pictures, or hear stories of those who live under oppressive governments I don't see happiness. Let's face it, Slavery is a horrible place to be, to be owned by someone else is not fun, no wonder the abolition of Slavery has become a global concern.

In our busy and over worked society we have become mostly slaves to these things that keep us busy. Charlse Hummel would probably agree with me when I say we've become slaves to the urgent. They control us and give us no rest, no escape, here we are, this is all there is, you cannot get away. When we are enslaved to the urgent things we don't get to experience freedom, we can only do what those things demand of us, when we finish those urgent tasks we are too burned out to do anything else.

The Apostle Paul uses slavery as one of the many metaphors he uses to describe the old and new life we have in Christ. Paul writes in Romans 6 "did you not know that if you present yourselves as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey." (v. 16) ESV Granted Slavery in Paul's time looked more like indentured servitude found in the places like Jamestown in the early colonial period in America, but when you start to picture any type of slavery it isn't exactly pleasant. This is the goal of Romans 6, to show us that slavery, that living by the old sin nature only brings death, but slavery to the righteousness of God, living by faith, will bring us life.

Now, is Paul using slavery because we are in chains to righteousness? I would say not, instead we were in chains when we were in sin, we were limited by that sin, everything was tainted by it, our relationships, our business encounters, our leadership roles. But when we surrendered our sin nature, when we go through that baptism process of being buried with Christ, dying to our sin natures and being raised to new life in Him we are now declared righteous because of the blood of Christ (See Romans 6:1-14). Once we have been raised to this new life we become free, we are no longer slaves to sin, but we serve rightousness because we live by faith.

But after we become a Christian an inner battle starts, there are still parts of that sin nature that we must work through as we work out our salvation. That battle rages around our own wills, the idea that now we are free so we go out and do what we want, we go after this cheap grace and we continue to live in sin. Meanwhile God continues to pursue us, after we have fallen on our faces before the holiness of God and told Him we would turn from our old lives, then going our own way continue to sin relying on grace, God still pursues us.

In my own life I've seen this same struggle lived out, for the first five or six years of my Christian walk I only wanted what I wanted. I never gave a thought to what God's will might be for me. The problem was I still ended up where God wanted me, I certainly didn't want to be a Sterling College, I never wanted to be studying Urban Ministry, yet here I am. On these things I fought God's will, I wanted very little to do with it and I become cold and angry, legalistic in my ways. Thinking I was unloved by God for the things that I had done, filling my days with my own works, doing my own thing, being a slave to my old self, and to my will.

Then God got through to me, starting with the graceful, yet seemingly harsh words by a good friend to that day as I sat in the center of the Labyrinth, unable to fight any longer, finally in total surrender. Now, almost nine months later I can tell you friends that there is no better freedom than to be in a place where you are totally surrendered to God's will.

In a conversation about this with one of my brothers here at Sterling it was said "so we are robots programmed to do good!" Meaning "is God then limiting our free will, is it just an illusion." John Calvin once said of Paul that he "never limits the Christians Freedom" in fact, if you read 1 Corinthians 10:23 Paul says "All things are lawful, but not all things build up" (ESV). In the context of the rest of the passage, there is an ongoing theme of not causing your brother to stumble, that we are free to live as long as we are not causing our brothers or sisters to stumble. In fact the very next verse states; "let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor" (v. 24). This means that we are free, but in that freedom, because we live by faith we should do what is good for our neighbors.

This passage in 1 Corinthians 10 culminates in the ultimate purpose, the goal of our Christian freedom, what Jonathan Edwards called "The End for Which God created the world." This is found in 10:31 "Whether you eat, drink or whatsoever you do, do it all for the glory of Christ." This is the chief end of man, this is what everything we do is to culminate in, bringing glory to a infinite and holy God.

So it is not total determinism, we are not simply pawns or robots. It is not slavery God wants but the surrender of our wills. The slave is told what to eat and drink, we are told "take and eat" (See Acts), we are simply instructed that everything we do bring glory to God.

But how do we bring glory to God? Well, if we believe God is sovereign, then we must also believe that God's will for our lives is sovereign. That the purpose of our lives is leading to something bigger and greater than what we could ever accomplish on our own. In fact, when anytime I've put my will before God's I've only ended up sitting angrily under a tree trying to figure out why it all fell apart. My will has only burned me out and failed me, destroyed me, God's will brings life, God's will for our lives gives us freedom.

But we don't know the will of God, we are not quiet, we are too busy, our souls ache for it, but our minds and hearts deceive us. Praise God though, as Romans 8 tells us; "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words"  (v. 26 ESV). These groans that come from the spirit are intercessory, the spirit is calling out for God's will in our lives, should we not learn to do the same?

This is why I put such a high emphasis on spiritual disciplines, because it is when we learn to quiet our spirits that we begin to not just experience God but know God. And in knowing God, we learn and know the will of God for our lives and for those in leadership, the lives of others. The battle is over, we live by faith, totally relying on the will of God, not as slaves to sin but as sons, elected for adoption (Romans 8:15). Set on a path of future glory, because God, who is trying to bring glory to Himself, glorifies us through Christ when we suffer with him (Romans 8:17).

So lay down your weapons, if you are dead to sin then you are no longer enemies of God. Stop making Him your enemy by fighting against His will for you, He is not the bad guy here, we become the bad guy. Start applying disciplines, put off the old life, live a life of total surrender. Discover for yourself the blessings that come through a true and personal relationship with Christ, unhindered by slavery to our own wills that often lead us to failed plans.

It is God's will, through grace and the blood of Christ shed on the cross, the propitiation for our sins (Romans 3:25). That is what frees us, that is what takes us from slaves to sin, to slaves to righteousness.

Jonathan Faulkner
10:31 Life Ministries

Also available from Jonathan Faulkner
Good Discipline
Ready, Reset, Go
God's Heart for Your Relationships

Also available from 10:31 Life Ministries;
A Chosen Generation (1 Peter 2:9): Called to Societies Standards  By Angel Edwards
College Commitment: The Toughest Test by David Faulkner
The Fire & the Storm: Being in the presence of a Holy God who Speaks by David Tank

To learn more about 10:31 Life Ministries check out; http://www.facebook.com/1031ministries
To contact 10:31 Life Ministries email us at; hi1031.ministries@yahoo.com
To Contact Jon Faulkner email him at: jonemanarmy24@yahoo.com

Good Discipline

March 24, 2012

I remember growing up to be disciplined was a bad thing, more often than not to be disciplined in our house meant that you were you were in trouble. I remember we would run away from our parents, but we knew that we were going to be disciplined, and it was going to hurt. I know some people think that you shouldn't spank your children, they don't like it, but this kind of discipline gave me incentive to not participate in that activity again. It was because of the "rod of correction" that I learned some of the biggest lessons in my life, though I had to learn them the hard way.

In our spiritual lives we often face the same struggle, we hold onto a lot of stuff from before our salvation and that makes it extremely difficult for us to obey. Or, when we become Christians we think that "freedom" means "freedom to do our own will." While we are free, free from sin, free from fear of death (see Romans 3), as we've discussed God's will is to conform us to His will. To do that He needs to bring us to a place where we can truly listen.

Conformity: It's not all bad. 


In school students are taught to conform to the schools academic standards, at home we are expected to conform to our parents belief systems or rules and at church we are expected to conform to the expectations of church government. Some times this demand for conformity becomes too much and we get a Demand for Purity, something we just don't want to do it, so we rebel against conforming. In high school it was popular to say "I'm not a conformist," the funny thins was, in saying that we were conforming.

Conforming to God's will is not a bad thing, it actually becomes a blessing, friendships deepen and we are blessed by those we interact with instead of turned off by them. By conforming to the will of God we turn ourselves off to our selfish desires and learn to listen to God, we lay them down and take up the example of Christ (Philippians 2:5-11). To conform to Christ, that is the call of the Christian, to glorify God through that conformity, to become like Him, this is a great blessing.

Spiritual Discipline: Something we need


When I began to study Spiritual Disciplines I didn't want them, in fact I hated them, I thought I was doing just fine without them. I was introduced to them through a book given to me by my older sister named Godology: Because Knowing God Changes Everything by a man named Christian George, after reading this I hope you will seek out a copy of this book. I read over a period of about two years, at a time in my life when I was still recovering from the spiritual abuse I suffered the last year and a half of high school.

Finally, in the spring of last year, God brought me to a place where I had no choice but to practice them. I was living in the dorms with one other guy for two or three weeks before moving to Denver for the Denver Urban Semester. Since the other guy worked I didn't see him much, so I had a lot of solitude time and a lot of time to think. In those two weeks I got to see God's hand in my life, I could see a direction, but I didn't know what that direction was. In Denver, when I learned to be quiet, that direction became very clear after walking the Labyrinth, suddenly Discipline was something I needed.

Application: A Fountain of Blessing


When I started to apply these disciplines, practice them, live by them, things began to change. Something in my spirit was transformed, I believed I was loved, not just believed but knew, and because of my increased love and faith in God I started to get closer to Him in a way I never thought possible. I was truly able to heal and lay down everything, my will, my friendships, my life, it all went to God. Then there was an increase in the depth of my friendships, I found I could really love people, no more walls, no more false fronts, I want nothing but what God wants. More importantly I felt for the first time that Romans 5:1 made since, I actually felt like I had "Peace with God, through Christ Jesus our Lord."

This was a new knowledge for me, and it grew and grew and I wanted more and more of God. I also had peace with others, I could listen and not stir up trouble, instead of people rolling their eyes when I spoke I was removed from the situation long enough to know what was going on. This allowed God to work in those friendships in ways that I will never understand, and He's still working in them.

Am I say that by applying these disciplines we won't have a need or a want or that life will be perfect. By no means, instead I am saying that we will be much, much better off. These things are hard, but as we are silent God will speak, when we practice Solitude He will meet us, when we practice meditation scripture will come alive. When we pray God listens, when we do art we see the beauty of God, when we practice God's presence we catch a glimpse of His holiness, when we walk a Labyrinth God reveals His heart and so on and so forth.

In Spiritual Disciplines God is the one working, we have no control over God, He is totally Sovereign (Romans 8-9). These things help us to connect to God in such a way that we can focus on that Sovereign nature of God and His Sovereign will for our lives.

I Love you all
God Bless You
Jonathan Faulkner
10:31 Life Ministries

Also Available from Jonathan Faulkner
Ready, Reset, Go
Outta Control and Outta the Lifeboat
God's Heart for Your Relationships
The Truth: Why Love the Word?

Also Available from 10:31 Life Ministries
A Chosen Generation (1 Peter 2:9): Called Beyond Societies Standards by Angel Edwards
College Commitment: The Toughest Test by David Faulkner

To contact 10:31 Life Ministries visit us on Facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/1031ministries
Or Email us at: hi1031.ministries@yahoo.com
To contact Jonathan Faulkner send an Email to: jonemanarmy24@yahoo.com

In Awe

March 10, 2012

I don't really know how to start this blog post, I guess the best thing to say is that words fail me at the moment but I feel a sweeping need to write about this and to share this with you.

It's strange to say this, but up until recently I never really thought God's love extended to me. I was a Christian, I certainly loved God and wanted to obey Him but something inside of me could never accept the fact that He loved me, that was until that day in the Labyrinth. That day that God took me through my entire story and showed me where He was, told me He was there and loved me and told me He'd always be there.

I guess I can say I didn't believe it because I thought there was no way God could love someone like me. I was angry and bitter and a workaholic, I cared for others on my time and didn't consider the things of God. How could God possibly love me, I spent my first 13 years of my life hating His righteous standard and the first four years of my Christian walk consciously rebelling against it. I treated God's people like crap, I was a legalist and I hated myself, how could God have loved me? How could He love someone in so much pain?

Then that day happened, that bright warm day on the side of a mountain, the first day I ever really spent in quiet meditation. "I love you" I heard Him say "You are my child, my son and I love you." For the first time I heard the honest and straight forward voice of God speak to my guarded and healing heart. I was forced into a place where I had to listen and this is what God told me...I was...in awe.

Recently my friend David and I reached Romans 8 in what has become a 3 month long study through the incredible book. As we reached the end tonight I was once again reminded of that voice of Love. You know the section I'm talking about, specifically 8:31-39. The part that says "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (v31) and "Who shall bring charge against God's elect, it is God who justifies" (v33). The part that points out:

Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. (v.34 ESV)

The section that ends with

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (37-39 ESV)

As we read these passages as well the rest of the chapter we got excited, this is our hope, this love, the love of God, this is what we hope in. I was moved to tears, I had to go and contemplate and pray through this, God love us? How are we deserving of this?

Maybe you aren't sure of God's love for you, maybe you think that your past is too messed up, that the only way left to earn God's love is by good works or by being a good religious person or by your church attendance. I want to tell you that none of these things are important to God, that His love can't be held back by any of these things, that you have nothing to be ashamed of because Christ's death on the cross has covered our pasts. You are free from condemnation from that, no one can come against you and nothing can destroy you because of God's love.

God Loves YOU

It's not just some cliche, it's not just some propaganda act, it's the real deal. It's why Christ came and suffered a horrible death on the cross so we could be buried with Christ and raised to life in Him. All this He did so that we would have an example of His love, that we might see what true love for us does. "For God so love the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life." (John 3:16).

I pray you sit with this thought, that you let it permeate you, that it changes you. That you will allow the Love of God to come into your life and completely change it, you can't stay separated from it if you've been trying to do that, none of us can, eventually every wall we build to keep love out will be broken down because God loves you so much that He will do anything to be close to you.

Let go dear friends, Let God tell you He loves you.

Love in Christ
Jonathan Faulkner

Also available from Jonathan Faulkner
The Surprise of Grace
The Changes Everything
The Mountain Stream

Also available from 10:31 Life Ministries
The College Commitment  By Rev. David Faulkner
A Chosen Generation (1 Peter 2:9) By Angel Edwards
The Truth by Jonathan Faulkner

Ready, Reset, Go:

March 3, 2012

It's as natural to us as Lather, Rinse, Repeat, as simple as eating Ice Cream, as deceiving as Tabacco adds and as dangerous as a mass murderer on the prowl. Every year thousands of people approach it, reach it and grasp for it desperately as they seek to save themselves from burn out. They sit back on their couches and say to God "just give me strength to get through this" or "I'll rest and I'll be fine" and the most famous of them all "I'll sleep when I'm dead."

Yes I'm talking about the end of a burnout cycle, I'm talking about the place we come where we cannot go on any further. When the pressure of school, work, relationships, personal and external demands and ministry become to much and we hit a very heavy brick wall very, very hard. We have ignored the signs, the sicknesses, the pain, the tiredness and suddenly we have to deal with it, we no longer have a choice. We feel suffocated, destroyed and torn down to a point and we can't always see how we got there. We might say "I'm relying on God's strength at this point" or "God will see me through this" but when we look at it we're not sure God's there at all, and we are scared.

I know this feeling all to well, I've been there on at least seven different occasions since starting College and I can't tell you how many times I've been there before college. I was there last summer at the moment when my roommate stepped in to tell me to chill out and just let people see me, I was there a week ago when I forgot to meditate on the word of God, and I know the reactions to it. I know that we think we can just back off, that we think we can cut things out of our schedule, that we think we can prioritize. That we know we can go to God and He will "fix us" and send us back on our way to do His work.

But there's a problem here, we are simply restarting the cycle: "If I get this worked out" my brother in Christ told me once "I'll be fine." Six months later my brother was back in the exact same place, he was struggling under the same weight, the same hurt, the same burn out.

Ready, Reset, Go: Why we won't be alright. 


If experience has taught me anything, resetting and going doesn't mean we'll be alright. I remember one night after a rehearsal during my High School's production of Fame, my drama teacher noticed how burnt out I was. I told her I would be alright but she pointed out something that has stuck with me every since. "Jon" she said "You're a rod and real Christian, you give it to God and then you pull it back in." I didn't admit it at the time, but she was right, and I can point to every time that I was burnt out that was why, I carried to much junk around and it only hindered my relationship with Christ, and in the end all of this nearly killed me.

So here's what we do, and why we won't be alright, this list may sting a bit but friends bear with me.

1. Prioritize: Now there is nothing wrong with having your priorities in line, this is actually a great thing to do, I myself have before given you a list of my priorities, God, Relationships, Education. The problem is that prioritizing without slowing down or skipping a beat, we put those things in order, get to feeling better and keep going as fast as humanly possible, give it two more months and we're burnt out again. Whenever I prioritize I have this nasty habit of not letting God set the list, something I'm getting better at thankfully. I sit there and focus on what I think is important and so soul care and spiritual formation either don't make the list or get put on the back burner. This is probably the least destructive of our behaviors because it does force us to think about what are priorities are, the problem comes when our priorities aren't God's priorities, when we jump back into the totally busy lifestyle and God takes a back seat, that is to say quiet time with God takes a back seat.Our list of priorities should have God at the top, then we should sit back and allow Him to set the rest of the list, God's will should be the priority, not ours.
   
2. Demanding Purity: This is the most dangerous, the demand for purity tells us that we must be doing good works at all times, it is what leads us to the point of burn out. Those who practice this put a lot of pressure on themselves, in cults the leaders put on the pressure, but I'm talking about those who put the pressure on themselves. They say "I must not quit, if I quit I'm a bad Christian" which is totally the opposite of the truth. Steve Martin points out in his book The Heresy of Mind Control that "Good works our not are way into heaven, rather it is God who grants salvation as a gift, an act of grace." (pg 52). Steve also gives scripture to back this up, Eph 2:8-11, Phil 2:13, James 2:17-18, 1 John 2:5, 29, 3:5, each of these passages tell that our salvation is not dependent on works; works are expexted by God but not our means of salvation This being the case why should we demand purity of ourselves, if we believe that this will make us good Christians we will find ourselves burnt out and believe it or not, ineffective for the kingdom. The best thing about Jesus is that he is always going out into the wilderness, Martin also points that after the 12 came back Jesus tells them to go find someplace to rest (pg 49, Mark 6:31).
   
3. Just Give Up, Push it Down and Go On: This was my favorite one to do, I would lay down in my bed or on my couch and just cry it out, yelling at God for allowing me to get to that place. I wanted nothing to do with life or people or school or life in general. I remember specifically after my closest friendship of my freshmen year of college suddenly burned out, I was laying face down on the floor of my dorm room trying to figure out how we'd gotten to that point, knowing quite well how it had happened. I didn't surrender at this point though, I pushed it down, held it in and let it consume me like everything else I'd been holding in my entire Christian Walk. This led to an ultimate burn out last December which culminated in a fateful night where I punched on of my best friends in the face and sat under a tree with another while she talked me through things. This was far from a good place to be but I had to deal with these things and finally the Lord forced me to, I could have died that week, I was near suicidal. 

If we continue in these ways we will eventually get sick and die early (maybe not for several years but it will happen, our bodies will give up on us and we won't be able to go on), commit suicide or have something worse happen to us. We are not meant to keep these heavy paces, we are not meant to be everything to everyone at all times. We were meant to carry each others burdens, but not to get burnt out doing it, we were meant to be salt and light but how can we be salt if we lose our saltiness or light if we are burnt out. 

In Contrast: The Sovereign Will of a Sovereign God, 

Dear friends this is not God's will for us, I've done all three of these things and I can tell you now that I've learned there is a better way. I talked about Saltiness in the last paragraph, let me expand on that for a second. For that I go to Luke 14:34-35: 

“Salt is good, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is of no use either for the soil or for the manure pile. It is thrown away. He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” (ESV)

This passage comes right after Jesus talks about the cost of Discipleship and right before Jesus gives parables about coming to save sinners. In 14:25-33 Jesus says if anyone does not give up all they are holding they cannot be a true disciple. Then He says the verses above. Think about Salt, it only had a short shelf life in those days, it was mined from the Dead Sea and had to be processed very specifically as to remove the impurities, Carnalite and Gypsum, two chemicals that make salt tasteless.

The truth is when we are burnt out we are holding things in, when we go through this cycle over and over we never truly deal with things. We push them down and go on, until we reach burn out again and then its ready, reset, go.

God says differently though, if you think about it, the analogy of salt is rather beautiful. Like I told you above salt had to be processed, they had to weed out the impurities and the work of Sanctification is the same way. It's a process by which we are thrown into the refiners fire, onto the potters wheel and the impurities are weeded out. Slowly over time we are made holy, we are made complete in Christ, just as God is holy and in that holiness complete we are made that way, a process that takes a lifetime and will never be complete until we reach eternity.

The trick is to surrender our wills totally to God's. This sounds painful, even scary, I know from my personal experience this is not something we all want to do. This is however what God wants, Paul aknoledges this in 2 Cor. 12:9, he says: "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me".(ESV).

Paul is talking about surrounding his will to the will of Christ, he does the same thing in his letter to the Galatians.

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (ESV Italics authors)

This is total surrender to a Sovereign God, a God who lives within us, a God who gives us strength in our weaknesses, it is God who says to us "My grace is Sufficient, it's all you need."

The more I learn to live in daily surrender the more I find the sovereignty of God is greater than we could imagine. That He will speak to us, affirm us, validate us and as we learn to sit in stillness and solitude and listen to Him we will be transformed, we won't have to much to handle because what we are doing will be His will. The more I sit in stillness and solitude and communion with God the healthier I am, the healthier I am the more  effective I am. God has restored my saltiness and raised me to life, He has validated me, taken away my self hatred and moved me into a better place.

I know this is long winded and if you've made it to this point I thank you, I love each of you with a love I can only attribute to the father. We must start caring for ourselves, we must deal with the things we push down, we must surrender to our loving father in heaven. God wants us to be effective, but to do that we have to allow him to work and we won't do that if we are burnt out all the time, going our own way, trying to figure it out on our own.

I love you, I pray grace finds you as you ponder these things, please dear friends, find wisdom and love in my words, not condemnation. I thank the Lord for each of you, blessings.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge;

fools despise wisdom and instruction.

               (Proverbs 1:7 ESV)

Jon Faulkner

Quotes from: The Heresy Of Mind Control: Recognizing Con Artists, Tyrants, and Spiritual Abusers in Leadership, by Stephen Martin, ACW Press, Nashville TN. Copyright 2007, 2009.

Also available from Jonathan Faulkner
Outta Control and Outta The Lifeboat
This Changes Everything
The Truth: Why Love the Word?

Also available from 10:31 Life Ministries
College Commitment: Playing With a Thunderstorm by David Faulkner
Devoured, Withered, Choked and...Alive?  By Angel Edwards
The Storm & The Fire By David Tank (Official writer Fall 2012)

To learn more about 10:31 Life Ministries visit us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/1031ministries
To Contact 10:31 Life Ministries Email us at: hi1031.ministries@yahoo.com
To Contact Jon email him at: jonemanarmy24@yahoo.com