Our Place of Peace.

November 23, 2011
(See also: The Ministry Burn-Out July 3, 2011)

I've always loved coming out to my grandparents farm in Western Illinois. I remember when I was younger we would come out here and spend Christmas. The whole family gathering together at the farmhouse, opening presents on Christmas morning. The smell of Grandma's Christmas Coffee Cake cooking slowing in the oven. The closeness of family and friends, Aunts and Uncles and cousins that I didn't get to see at any other time in the year. In the summer we'd visit and climb up to the old Treehouse and swing on the rope swings. Grandpa would take us out and put us on one of his Mare's and we'd get in trouble for playing pranks and doing stupid things that young kids do.

Then for some reason, most likely money and distance, we stopped coming out here. We started spending Christmas at home and the farm seemed like a distant memory. Then freshmen year of college, while I was sitting in my dorm room pondering my first Easter apart from my family my grandmother called and asked if I wanted to come out to the farm. I got the money and bought my ticket and took the train out to Gailsberg. I got off and was greeted by my Grandmother and Uncle. I spent the night at my Aunt and Uncle's and then headed out to the farm for the first time of years.

The tree's still there, the Treehouse isn't, neither are the rope swings, but it was still the same farm, the place of my childhood. The hot summers, the cold winters with warm family, the memories came flooding back to me as I entered the house, that like everything else there seemed trapped in time, or apart from time.

I returned to the farm last Easter, and then found myself pondering what to do for Thanksgiving for I couldn't go home because of money, when once again the phone rang, it was Grandma asking to see if I wanted to come up and spend our week long break here. Another train ride and I had returned once again to my place of Shalom, the place where God speaks volumes to me, where peace and timeless memories collide to form a beautiful painting, each brushstroke carefully preserved by a Holy God who created them.

We all need places like this in Ministry, I've talked before about the Ministry Burn-Out, this is one of the ways I've found to avoid this burn-out. Just getting away from where God has called me, even if it's a forced get away. To step back and take a break from Ministering to the guys in my dorm and people on campus, from homework and Sterling and just go to a quiet place of solitude and rest. To turn off the computer and smell the cooking of my grandmother's pies, even help if possible. To see my cousins, aunts and uncles, new family members, future family members and just let God speak to me through the quiet and re-energize me for the final two weeks of school before I get to return home to Ohio for two more weeks of rest.

Dear friends, I think this type of Soul care, just getting away is important in our Christian walks. I know Jesus did it, several times He just went away and found a quiet place to pray, to just spend time with His father. This is a part of being healthy Christians, it gives us time to study and just lose ourselves in the father. It allows Him to get us apart from the busy lives we try to lead and really work and speak with us. To prepare us for the next season of life , no matter how short.

Where is your place of peace, your escape, the place you just get to discover God? How much time do you spend there? How often do you get away? If the answer is I don't know, none and I don't then dear friends you are on your way to burn-out. I pray that happens to none of you, yes we must keep feeding the poor, we must keep clothing the naked, we must keep healing the sick and we must keep visiting the prisoners and preaching the gospel. But we can't do that if we are burnt out and used up by the task God has given us to do well, we have only been portioned one life and God wants to use that to the fullest extent He can, but He also cares for us and wants us to be healthy and to do that sometimes, you just need to get away.

Jon Faulkner
10:31 Ministries

The Cry for Standards

December 15, 2011

"We could be on the verge of another great reformation"
A Pastor quoting someone else.

This past spring I began working on a book that was going to be entitled "New Depth" it was a collection of my essay's that have been released over the years, redefined with my changed theological stance. After a conversation with a friend and God's continued changing of How I viewed both Him and theology I quit working on the book, and no I don't have any plans to pick it up again.

The premise of the book was that there was and is a need for renewed depth in Christian Faith. with the onslaught of the seeker friendly movement that has created what I call "Toothpick Christianity" Christians who were an early part of that movement find themselves searching again for answers.

They had been introduced to a God who simply loved them, a Christian faith without the atrocities of a brutal cross. Told by their pastors that God was simply going to make them happy, that Jesus was their friend and that we were all going to heaven. Taught that if they were struggling then it was because of something they had done. Christians who didn't understand that God also corrects us, teaches us and reforms us, and that reformation is painful.

Christians without a foundation, without a full view of God as sustain-er in time of need. They were taught that religion was a dirty word and that the standards set by Jesus weren't meant to be taken as rules but more as guidelines, and don't worry you don't really have to follow them, that's what grace is for.

Passionate on the surface from they were like the seed that fell on the thorny ground. They're fire quickly died they became cold in their faith and some fell away. The church of seeker friendly faith kept converting people, creating more toothpick Christianity, meanwhile those who remained rooted in the faith began to feel empty, they began to seek out a new answer to their questions. "This couldn't be right, there's no way this is right!" they said to themselves

Suddenly a new cry for depth had been raised. What was faith? what did it mean o be on fire for God? Maybe there's more than just being happy? Maybe God wants more from me than just my worship on Sunday? Maybe there's a firm foundation?

My friends we must learn the foundations of our faith! The message of the cross, the message of the gospels. We must allow God to reform our ideas and transform our minds. We can't engage in the conversation if what the conversation is saying is wrong. We are called to be in the word so let's be in the word. Let's return to the message of the gospel and retreat to the mighty fortress of our God. We are Children of God and Children have to have discipline but we won't learn how to be disciplined until we learn the standards God has set.

So what do we do? we learn to pray, we learn to study, we learn to do exegesis. As leaders we learn to lead, to serve to love. Here is the call for depth, the call to come back to the Gospel. To reform our theology and discover once again the gospel free from the countless restrictions of fundamentalism and the extreme social gospel.

"It's like this" my friend Pastor Joel Wood told me once. "reformed theology is like playing on a mountain top, you can either have a fence and have fun in the fence. Or you can get rid of the fence and put yourself in danger." So let's adopt again the reformed theology and instead of pretending, really, truly be free.

Jon Faulkner
10:31 Ministries

Praying in times of Trouble.

October 30, 2011

For those who don't know because of my visual disability I wear a very thick set of contacts. These contacts are a special prescription that cost around $300.00 to purchase. They generally last about six months and then have to be replaced because they begin to make your vision worse. In the time I've worn them I've lost the left one and I've lost the right one but never at the same time, that is until this week. I had lost the right one over the summer which is okay because I can train my eyes to work just fine off one contact but when you don't have both your world becomes a hardly discern-able blur so bad that one can't really make out the people who are speaking to them without great difficulty. The blind have many responses to this inability to recognize people, one of which is to memorize a persons voice, but even that can fail at times.

It's certainly made the past week interesting considering I still have to go to classes and work. This morning at breakfast someone who was unfamiliar to me sat down (I didn't know them, had never seen them with contacts) and I had to ask their name. I've also had some very intense headaches that yesterday caused me to have to leave work early.

It's safe to say that this has been a bit of a trial for me. For one I value my independence, I like to make people forget that I have a visual disability, I hate asking for help with anything and because of that Pride has always been a struggle in my life. But then what of my relationship with Christ? Where does the strength and new insight God has given me over the past six months come into this trial?

After the contact disappeared I found myself asking a couple of questions in relation to God's role in our trials

The Question: Why would God allow to experience trials?: Why would God allow the wind to come up and blow away the one device I use to see at all times? Well if God wants to be good to us I'd say that He wouldn't allow it. That the wind is part of a fallen creation and therefore unless God said to the wind "Go and take away Faulkner's contacts" (which I doubt). No instead I believe that God, seeing my contact fly away and seeing the six or seven Professor's, RD's and Students searching for it was awaiting my reaction. Would I be teachable or would I slide into depression like I have so many times in the past. Would I be faithful to my studies, using the technology He has so graciously given me to continue pressing on towards the goal of getting my BA in Ministry, or would I sit in my room and pout because I couldn't see.

I think when we experience trials at the hands of a depraved world or just to fallen creation God wants more than anything for our reaction. He wants to see if we are going to let Him teach us because it is in times of trials that God teaches some of the biggest lessons and reveals to us the most about who He is.

So what is the best reaction in times of trouble?

The Solution: Praying in times of trouble:  When I returned to my room that night I had two options: 1. Be extremely angry at myself for losing that contact, sink into depression and fall asleep for as long as I could so as not to think about it as I would have done last year. Whining the whole time to my friends and causing great strain to my closest friendships or 2. I can fall down on my knees before the true and living God, who's so big as to have supremacy over all creation who is also personal enough to know me inside and out and loves me despite my short comings.


Now with all that God has been showing me and teaching me this past six or seven months the first option didn't make much sense. So I fell down on my knees and asked God for His sustaining love to hold me up while I struggled with not being able to see. I cried out to Him, asked others to pray for me, called my dad and instead of taking no action, got the ball rolling on getting a new pair that will hopefully get here later this week. I continued going to work in the Theater, continued going to classes, even asked for help.

The Result: A Closer Walk with Thee: Through this experience I have found that in times of trouble God is closer to us if we let Him. When we turn and run from His grace in times of trouble, when we hide behind our self pity instead of taking troubles directly to the feet of Christ we will only feel worse. However when we drop down to our knees in prayer, and ask others to pray for us it allows God to show up and do something incredible. To reveal to us the strength of our friendships, to show us the strength of His love. If we forget that God can sustain us and rely totally on others we are going to be let down but if we hit the word and pray God draws us in and brings us closer to Him. Our walks get closer, God moves and suddenly a time of trouble turns into a time of communion with Christ, and though the trouble is still there we have a closeness with a big God who's hand will sustain us through that time of trouble.

It's interesting that God would choose to reveal all this to me during a spiritual emphasis week devoted to prayer but dear friends this is important. Just as Jesus prayed in the Garden, we should pray in times of troubles. In that moment of weakness we should rely heavily on an unchanging God. Unlike Jesus in the Garden we don't know the outcome but if we lean on the one who does we are much better off.

If you are struggling with anything, whether it's the future, a relationship, being far from home, whatever it is, I encourage you to commit it totally to prayer. To allow God the pleasure of glorifying Himself through you. Then rest assured that the same God who sustained the Israelites' in the wilderness, who took Gideon and made Him a great leader and who sent His son to die for your sins. Is the same God who will see you through your times of trouble, who wants to teach you and who desires to hear your troubles. Dear friends, every thing in times of trouble, take it to the Lord in prayer!

Jon Faulkner
10:31 Ministries

Up and Up!

October 20, 2011


"And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him,)
(Colossians 1:21-22 ESV)


For my Homiletics (preaching) class last year I wrote a sermon on Colossians 1:15-23. When I got to verses 21-22 where Paul begins talking about who were before Christ. I made it a point to point out the importance of know ing who we are. I pointed out that Paul was pointing out our sin nature, he was saying, this is who you were before you met the Jesus he was talking about in 15-20 and in 22 He talks more specifically about what Christ had done for us.

So why did I emphasize knowing who we were before Christ? It seems like a bit of a depressing sermon point doesn't it? After all isn't the past in the past and therefore shouldn't we just forget about it and move on? Why should we remember the things we may be ashamed of? What credence does our "Before Christ" action have on our spiritual walk?

Well if you're like me (human) than your sin nature and your "Before Christ" actions followed you right into your post Salvation life. Let me give you an example, last semester I became very anti-social and even mean, I guess I shouldn't say became, I had pushed those tendencies down so as not to deal with them, so when they finally surfaced, they surfaced in a nearly destructive way. These attributes along with the depression and self  pity that come along with them were part of my life before I was a Christian. I wanted so bad to get attention that I turned into the very thing people didn't want to be around (because I wasn't getting attention).

Part of Illumination (see Illumination July 17, 2011) for me was seeing those characteristics and recognizing them and realizing that they only caused negative affects. Illumination also helps us to take something positive out of the experience even if that is just that you never want to have that experience again. Sometimes really picking apart those experiences can teach us deep life lessons. Negative experiences can have plenty of positive lessons. Before I was a Christian I did a lot of things I am ashamed of, because I remember thsoe negative experiences I have taken a positive lesson in a lot of different areas of my life. I know if I repeat that same behavior of those days then I will reap the same consequences, but if I take a positive lesson from those experiences I will not repeat those mistakes and reap positive consequences.

Here's another example, lately I've been feeling the Lord leading me in a certain direction. In the past, when God has called me to do something I've often jumped so far ahead of Him that I left Him in the dust. This time I began doing that and Monday because of the frustration I was feeling at myself for not taking rushed personal action I became irritable and even snapped at a dear friend of mine. I needed to take the time to sit back and pray and just spend time with God, so after a conversation with a brother here in my dorm God had renewed my concentration on Him and granted me a new patience to wait on Him.

This was because I recognized my behavior, I knew who I was before, when I would run away from God or ahead of Him and I know who He wants me to be. I know what the Illumination did for me and revealed for me, and God knows I'm better than that.

So who were we before Christ? Where did we come from? Who are we now and what are some of the lessons we've learned since the day of our salvation?

The work of the spirit is ongoing, anyone who thinks or preaches that we are instantly transformed is going to end up with a lot of mixed up Christians, who as soon as a piece of their old nature surfaces are going to turn away or feel misled and ashamed. Yes there is an instant change as Christ comes in but most of us are going to have to put off our old self and put on the fruits of the spirit. We have to go through the refiners fire and that is a process that will require us to work through the things from the old self. We have to allow God's work to happen in our lives through the washing of regeneration (dealing with the old stuff) and the renewing of the Holy Spirit. These things require us to drudge through things that we thought just disappeared.

Jesus calls us to be Holy as God is holy and to become Holy we have to go through this process of Sanctification. This is an ongoing process that we will never see completed while we are on earth. But have faith my friends, that work is astounding and it can lead to seeing God do wonderful.

So why should we not forget where we came from? Because it shows us what God has been doing in our lives and allows us to look ahead at where He is leading us!

Jonathan Faulkner
10:31 Ministries

The Best of Education

October 7, 2011

"The story of learning doesn’t tell us all about who we are, but the story of learning certainly tells us a lot and it’s a powerful story" Dr. Arn Froese

I was sitting here working on a research paper on Thomas Aquinas, going through the boat load of information on Church Histories greatest thinkers, getting a headache, when I started thinking to myself "Why do I do this?" Why do I get up and go to class everyday so I can get more homework, headaches and reading? Didn't Solomon have a point when he wrote "Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless" and when he was ranting about everything under the sun.

 It's a good question I suppose, to ask why one would pursue and education, of course, if it wasn't for an education Thomas Aquinas couldn't have been the greatest thinking in Church History. If it wasn't for education we wouldn't have gone to the moon, been able to read and even as I type this I realize that without education I couldn't possibly be writing this with cohesion and you wouldn't be able to understand it without education.

But what is the point? As a ministry major I find myself confronted by this apathetic question. What is the point of pursuing education? Well if I were to rush into Ministry without knowing how to minister it wouldn't end well for me. Most great evangelists and preachers didn't get that way without having some understanding of hermenuetics if they did the result might actually be disastrous, instead of using Exegetical (taking away from the text) principles they may use Eisegesis (inserting ones own meaning onto the text) principles which are very different.

The same is true in Psychology! How can one become a psychologist without even the basic principles and knowledge of human behavior that make up this field. This is true of Mathematics, Sciences, Communications and any other field you can think of.

In a conversation I had with Roy Stuckey, author of the book Transapparent: A Novel for Three Dimensional Christians. I learned that most people quit learning once they leave College, at least quit learning academically. He encouraged me to continue to pursue education, to keep learning beyond the age of thirty even if it kills me. This is good advice but again why must we learn?

Based on what I've stated above my question is now just the opposite! Why wouldn't we learn? Why wouldn't we want to continue our education? Why wouldn't we want to (if God calls us) go all the way to get out PhD's and Doctorate's of Ministry?

Just think, if Aristotle, Plato, Sacrates, Augustine, Leo the Great, Athenaseas, St. Benedict, St. Thomas Aquinas, John Wesley, John Calvin and all the great Scholastic thinkers had stopped their education what would the world be like? Calvin and Wesley never would have formed their doctrines, Augustine never would have been converted, Plato would be a dog on a cartoon and Aristotle and Socrates would never have been remembered by the next generations.

To keep growing and learning, to keep getting a better education and to move up, or if you practice biblical servant leadership, move down. I want to encourage you put education as a priority, to continue to learn and experience learning. God has gifted us with minds that we might use them to bring glory to Him and filling them with knowledge that we can use as a weapon for His kingdom.

Yes education is meaningless when compared to eternity, it's something we do while we are on earth, that part Solomon had right. However God gave men the ability to think and thanks to men who have thought we now have historical giants that we can stand on the shoulders of to see the whole of God's plan for humanity. Continue my friends to learn, continue my friends to discover, continue my friends to gain knowledge and wisdom.

For education exists because God made man to think and because of that we are given wisdom.

        to give prudence to the simple,
knowledge and discretion to the youth—
Let the wise hear and increase in learning,
and the one who understands obtain guidance,
(Proverbs 1:4-5 ESV)

God Bless You
Jon Faulkner
10:31 Ministries

God's Surprising Movements

October 4, 2011

When I was growing up I always wanted to be a firefighter or a spacemen, I once told my mother that I was going to be a policeman. When God came into my life at the age of 13 none of these dreams, that were for the legally blind very optimistic and unrealistic, they didn't seem to matter anymore. Suddenly I was faced with a new  world of things I would love to do. I tried being a Missionary, I went to Dallas to change the world and came back feeling like I had done nothing. I had always been interested in Music, so I set out to be a successful musician. I started learning Guitar (even before my salvation) I got back into Piano and I even picked up the drums. I had already been writing songs, so I thought that would be a viable career. I also got into the graphic design side of things, designing powerpoints for the Sunday Service at the big church I served in so I thought that was something I could do, Maybe these were my calling and what I was going to do professionally for the rest of my life.

But when the band broke up, the show was over and my vocal/guitar/drum skills were no longer needed and playing clarinet/piano seemed like a chore I dropped out of the music scene altogether. It would have seemed my music days were over, I still had a few contacts with bands I'd met along the road but none of that seemed to matter. No, at the end of High School, I'd be going to a small Christian College to study to be a Youth Pastor who just so happened to have led worship for AWANA's and Youth Groups.

But all this time something else had been sneaking up on me, something that I never expected to have form in me. In 2008 I had published, through Tee-Publications The "Man Up" series, a short and somewhat legalistic series on authentic Manhood based on Jim George's A Man After God's Own Heart. Tee was privately owned and so I signed a contract with them and was soon writing legalistic articles that would get published by obscure journal's that no one will ever hear about. When Tee parted ways with the organization that was publishing this stuff I went back to writing for them to sell.

But Music was still there, I was still playing Guitar, still writing Lyrics, still singing in Choirs and part of me held on to a faint dream of one day making it. I wanted to find a way to incorporate my Love for music, specifically Christian Rock into my writing. My first attempt, a publications of bands that people should avoid was again legalistic and in being that way it was a failure. Then a friend suggested maybe I should review and critique Christian Music instead and give a qualified opinion based on knowledge of those Genres. So freshmen year, after we'd started 10:31 Ministries and I'd gotten over my arrogant Legalistic self I began writing reviews.

Now two years later God has taken this beyond what I thought He would, but should I be surprised? God's also changed my major from Youth Ministry to the pursuit of Pulpit (pastoral) Ministry and revealed to me and interest and skill I have for radio. God has taken the young man who wrote for fun to the young man who is given the chance to write, to influence in a positive way and to reveal the love and heart of Christ through blogs like this. I write this not to gloat but this week I was officially make a member of the altrocklive.com team as their Christian Music guy. I cannot believe where God has taken this, to the point where I even have a book in the works.

Now I'm one who believes that God puts us in certain situations for certain times in our lives. I may not be writing for Altrocklive.com or even for my own Ministry next year. But I praise God for allowing me this opportunity and now I want to ask you. What has God subtly brought to the forefront of your life? What has He moved into your life that may be as a surprise?

Now I still play guitar, write songs, play piano, clarinet, drums, lead worship and do graphic design, all these things are still a part of my life. But I am called to be a pastor, then someday and husband, a father , a friend and for now a writer and could possibly be involved in radio.

What has God moved into your life? What has He allowed you to do that you never would have seen yourself doing? How has He allowed that to work in others lives and how has He used it to impact your life? I can tell you that writing has helped to work out my salvation and theological ideals. What has God stirred in you to help you grow in your walk?

God Bless You
Jon Faulkner
10:31 Ministries

God's heart for your Relationships

October 1, 2011

- - - Our hearts should be so lost  in or in such hot pursuit of God that others have to seek Him to find us - - -

I want to preface this blog by saying that I have practiced none of these principles I am going to describe within the context of a romantic relationship. However I am writing this to those who have been single and may be looking to enter into a relationship at some point. I have applied some of these principles to a lot of my friendships and the results have been good, God-centered, strong friendships. 

Almost six years ago now I made a decision to become single, I strayed once in High School but for the past four years, though I've gotten close, I've been pretty straight ahead in this area of my life. The purpose was to prepare myself for God's plans of marriage and fatherhood for my life, to become "A Man after God's own heart." It has been a day by day thing since that day, learning and growing and now I'd like to share some of the wisdom God has granted me with you.

So here are some principles or concepts, that when applied to relationships of any kind allow God to work in his mysterious and wonderful ways. 

1. A Relationship must be God-Centered - As we know God has called us to let Him be the center of our lives, as Christians we are raised learning that "Jesus is Lord/brother/friend" and God is "Father" and that they should be the center or axis of everything we do. So it makes sense to apply this to our romantic relationships as well. If we, who are by nature selfish, step back and allow God to lead us in our relationships and make Him the center it's much easier to listen to His direction. This might take the form of Bible-studies, praying together and separately about God's direction for the relationship and attending church together. 

It's not easy, applied to friendships it works better if it's a mentor-mentee relationship. 

2. Keep Learning- There is a difference between "knowing someone" and really knowing them. Part of the problem I ran into in my last relationship was that I thought I knew the person. I had gone to church with them for two years and though we hadn't spoken for two years when we decided to "date" we never actually got to know each other. As Christians we are called to live in Community, we need each other to lift up and encourage one another. If we don't know the other person then we can't really lift up and encourage them in things that are outside of the relationship. 

Also, people have a great deal of depth to them whether we, or ever they, realize it or not. Getting to know the other person takes time and requires a hiatus from a deep physical relationship, which can become distracting. 

Also, learning outside of the relationship is important too, spending time in the Scriptures by yourself and putting your education above the other person in the relationship (if you are in college or whatnot) is okay to do. The list should most likely go something like this; God, Education, Relationships. 

3. Isolation and infatuation are the quickest way to breakup - In my time working with young people and even in my own story I've seen it a hundred times. We cannot become infatuated with the other person, mostly because that leads to isolation which can lead to sin or breakup or breakup as a result of sin. Sexual Purity is on the top of the list of things God wants from us, but if we cannot control ourselves 1, we shouldn't be in the relationship and 2. we are breaking God's commands (thank God for grace right.) Joshua Harris gives this advice "Seek out other Christian couples, both the same age as you and older than you. Go on double dates and don't put yourselves in situations where you might be tempted" 

which brings me to my last principle 

4. Set Boundaries - This is probably the second most important of these four. It goes right after making your relationship God centered. Boundaries are important to set from the beginning, saying "This is what I'm comfortable with" is a very good thing. God has set boundaries for us so now we should set boundaries within our relationship based on his standards for us. This is where God Centered relationships are so important because if you're relationship is God focused instead of him/her focused it makes it easier to set boundaries based on your Christian convictions, which makes it easier to avoid sexual temptation and makes conversation and communication easier. It is boundaries that open the door for us to get to know each other, God Centeredness provides us with a lens to set those boundaries so that we can get to each other. 

I hope that this, in some way helped you in your quest to seek after God. I pray that God brings into your life the person He has been preparing for you. 

God Bless You

Jon Faulkner

10:31 Ministries 

Let Music Never Die in Me

September 21, 2011

"Let music never die in me, forever let my spirit sing, wherever emptiness is found, let there be Joy and glorious sound" The Awakening by Joseph M. Martin

Monday was the first time I played my clarinet since leaving the Sterling Community Band in the spring of my freshmen year. That marked the first time since seventh grade I hadn't been playing it, and Monday I picked it back up. Monday I also played at my dorms Smouisic Night (Open Mike Smoothie night) and earlier in the day been given the position of Choir Chaplain. Sunday I'll be playing drums for a worship service in the morning and then at an event in the evening.

Last year something was missing, something was off and I think now I know what it was. Musically (especially in the spring) I had become stagnant. I was not in Choir, I had quit playing Clarinet, I would occasionally get my guitar out (only for lessons) and I didn't write many songs. Music, for the most part, had died in me, I had forgotten in and the connection I felt to God when I was doing it, I had left a part of myself out.

Music has always been a huge part of my life, but it's also been a significant part of my relationship with Christ. When I'm worshiping, and just having fun with God with a guitar and some sheet music I am closer to Him than ever. Same when I'm sitting behind a drum kit or when I'm playing Clarinet for the fun of playing Clarinet. I have always used God's gifts of Music in my life as a way of bringing glory and honor to Him. Suddenly I had left it behind, dropped off the musical scene, heck I only played one show last year...in the student union...to a crowd of 10.

Now Music's back, I recently commented to my mother that "I couldn't imagine a summer without my guitars" it would, for me, be a tragedy because I've been playing them so much. God has restored the Joy of music in me, He has allowed me to write songs and lead worship, and I will praise Him for it!

Music is part of God's heart, Constantly in the Bible we see people lifting praises to God to the point where God is pleased with the rejoicing in Israel. The early church would sing Psalms, the presbyterians sing Hymns and now we have contemporary worship. We are called to be ministers of grace, called to be teachers and preachers but we are also called to praise God.

The bible says "Make a joyful unto God oh you people" so I encourage you to go out and make a joyful noise, doesn't have to be a pretty one, just make a joyful noise!

Jon Faulkner
10:31 Ministries

Sharing your Story

September 15, 2011

"The Definition of a character is someone who wants something but has to overcome conflict to get it" Donal Miller A Million Miles in a Thousand Years


It was the most frightening day of my summer in Denver, we had been asked to write and present our spiritual autobiographies. During the retreat the week before we had shared a part of our stories but in usual fashion I had made a show out it, not knowing how to handle the emotions of the situation. I planned out what I wanted to say and lost the audience because I couldn't connect with myself.

So there I sat at Issachar, a bottle of water in my hands in case I needed some of it. My voice was shaking, my hands were shaking, I was nervous. What were they going to think of me? Would they judge me for the things I'd done? I slowly, quietly unraveled the tale of my life. I spoke of the pain I experienced growing up because of how people treated me, about my salvation and how I'd always struggled with fitting in and how I was still healing from being spiritually abused at the church I worked at. I did all of this and more without being showy or flashy, and the response I got was "we liked it much better then when you shared on the retreat."

That Sunday I was preaching at Christ's Body (where I worked) I used my "Kenny" illustration (the character named Kenny who asks a lot of questions) and felt like I'd lost the room. I began preaching the word of God and they came back a little but when I told a story of my own invitation (I was preaching on Luke 5) into God's calling for my life. I was told later by my supervisor and friend Pastor John Moorehead, "The time you connected most was when you used a personal story" I heard the same thing from Scott and Melanie (my DUS mentors) who had also attended the service.

Now I've decided to write a book using parts from my story and I must admit it's been hard. So much of my life is a mess still, in my mind I can hardly depict where God is, however I know He was there in those moments, letting me write my own story that was leading to pain and disaster. Like He revealed to me that day in the Labyrinth (See "The Mountain Stream" July 4, 2011) He had been and I know He always will be, writing my story for me.

The temptation I've struggled with throughout the time I've been writing has been to dumb down my story. Repeatedly I have said to myself "No one hurts this much" knowing very well that both characters I'm creating and my own life story are vivid examples of pain and the grace that is only found in Jesus Christ. The temptation is to not be real, to not share what I experienced and to make the book a happy-go-lucky story of how happy we can become. But we all have to overcome the conflict and that can mean a lot of hardship if we do it apart from God like I spent a lot of my life (even my Christian life) doing.

But every story is different, some rarely encounter hardships, some are strong and bold in the face of trials and some feel emotions and pain very intensely like I do. The point I'm trying to make here is this, within the Christian circle there is a need for people to be real, forget the model of testimony writing, there is no formula to being real. It requires us to be exposed, to feel totally vulnerable and show each other and the world our hearts in all their wounded state. In telling our stories we can encourage one another and if we are real and honest bring glory to God because of where he has brought us from and where He is taking us.

So tell your story, tell it with the intent of being real, of showing the world what God has done for you. Be a light that shines before all men, a voice in the church, learn from your story and help others learn from it by not putting on a show but just telling it. Then, step back and quietly let Christ move in you and through you in a way that you have never felt Him work before!

God Bless
Jon Faulkner
10:31 Ministries

A Disquieting Invitation

August 7, 2011

"God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called" John Moorhead, Senior Pastor, Christ's Body Ministries

I thought I knew the answer to the question "What are you going to do when you grow up?" I was in fact going to be a youth pastor, to lead a new generation of young people in discovery of the heart of God. I thought God had told me He wanted me to do this but with all things with God, we don't get the full picture right away.

Over the past year I've found it increasingly difficult to relate to the youth at the church I've been serving in. I still love them I've just found a disconnect that can only be described as, well a void. This disconnect was partially my fault because, as an unhealthy, apathetic personality I didn't do well with the small group that God had entrusted me with. But there was another disconnect growing, I found I could no long discuss theology with them on their level. That is to say, all the knowledge from increased theological study that I can only attribute to the grace of God. Since I started feeling this way God has given me a way to relate to them what I'm learning but that was only after we bridged a gap.

The Invitation to Suffer

I've said it before, but as a good friend pointed out recently, I have a very personal view of a Big God. God and I carry out conversations with the father in heaven on a regular basis. I think our relationship operates this way because God knows I need that step by step guidance (because He didn't see fit to give me the gift of discernment)

So I was talking to God in the shower of all places and God dropped a bomb shell on me. Here I was ready to go back to school to continue studying Urban Youth Ministry and all of a sudden God says "I want you to drop the youth emphasis, I want you to pursue me to the pulpit." Now for anyone who has been around when I preach you know that I get nervous when I'm about to go out. This is a good thing because the reason I get nervous is because when I'm preaching I'm speaking out of God's word and that's a pretty big responsibility, no not big, huge. I have to step back and let the spirit lead the words out of my mouth.

This is also a disquieting invitation because God is asking me to shepherd His people, and He's inviting me to do it in the most broken places. Now I've learned a lot this summer about pain, listening and suffering. I've learned a lot about dealing with it too but when you are ministering to people like the ones I worked at Christ's Body Ministries it's very easy to get emotional burn out.

I once asked God why I emphasize so well with people who are hurting, could this gift of empathy be so I can care for the body of Christ? I ask you for your prayers as I explore the topic of pain further through my THE TRUTH series from 10:31 Ministries this year. I also ask for your prayers as I continue to seek God's heart on this matter because I think I've proven I far from know it all, or have the big picture.

God Bless
Jon Faulkner
10:31 Ministries

And May you find Peace.

July 28, 2011.

"You never really leave a place you call home, you simply leave a little bit of yourself there when you go" Charles R. Snyder.

It wasn't, but it seems like so long ago I was yelling at Ricardo on my way back from Christ's Body because I'd ended up on the wrong train, twice. I could navigate the light rail or bus system, knew nothing about public transit and had been dropped into this ministry and expected to swim.

This morning, nearly two months later I stood at the Light Rail Station waiting for the train. My heart was a little heavy as the realization had finally sunk in that today would be my final day working at Christ's Body Ministries. I got on the train as I have every morning, rode to the 16th street mall then walked to the bus stop I've sat at countless mornings. Like every morning this summer I got on the Zero and rode down to 8th and Broadway. I went to 7/11, got my coffee and doughnut, thanked the ladies for their smiles all summer and headed up to work.

I don't do well with goodbye's, I've heard they get easier as life goes on but when you experience things on a really deep level it seems to make them tougher. State Choir goodbye's were always hard, gathered in a large room with barely any room to walk around, everyone's crying and so are you. Today's goodbye's were more different.

In Ministry when you dive in to the place you are ministering in, if you are emotionally invested in a place then your story has intertwined with the people in that place and to a certain extent with the place itself. You have made friends and spoken life into people who don't normally have friends or have life spoken into them. You become accustomed to seeing their smiling faces as you serve them breakfast or give them a chance at a shower. For them you were a moment of illumination or maybe God used you to cause a stirring.

It's true that you never really leave a place you call home or spend a lot of time. God uses you to leave footprints on the floor and put tattoo's on the hearts of the men and woman you touch. Your name and face will be remembered and your kindness will be cherished beyond all things.

I'm going to miss 850 Lincoln and the people who come in for food, conversation and an escape from the weather. They have left an imprint and tattoo on my heart that will last the rest of my life, our stories have intertwined and I will also cherish the memories of these beloved friends. Ron may have told me that I can't leave, but the truth is I won't ever leave Christ's Body, my thoughts and prayers will forever be with the men and women that were just part of shaping me and my summer.

So today as I walked away from Christ's Body to head home my heart was at peace. I knew some where deep down that I had done what God had invited me here to do. I know that someday I will return to that little place but for now I must continue to grow and learn how to lead and be led by others.

So now as you go out and minister to the world, let the joy of Christ fill you, may the passion of his heart invigorate you, may you Illuminate the lives of others and let their stories impact you and help you see the heart of God. May you continue to be the light of Jesus wherever he calls you, whether it's Christ's Body Ministries, your High School or your neighborhood and above all else, in all that you do for the Glory of God, may you find peace

Jon Faulkner
10:31 Ministries

The Face of Christ!

July 24, 2011

"How did I find myself in a better place, I can't look down on the frown on this other guys face, I gotta stoop down low, look em straight in the eye, I get a funny feeling, I just might be dealing with the face of Christ" - Chris Rice "The Face of Christ" 

"All the homeless teens were hanging out down there, they were all dancing and high and it was hilarious" - The guy working at the Coffee Shop 

So often it is out of pain that we speak, I believe the man who said the second quote above was speaking out of some kind of pain, knowing this the quote still offended me. I've spent my whole summer working with homeless men and women, I've shared the stories with you about the shadow's and how heavy this kind of work was at the beginning and still is. When the man said what he said I wanted to punch him, then I wanted to ask him if he knew any of the homeless teens who could have been high. I wanted to ask the man if he knew the hearts of the people he was now making fun of, or just making an ignorant statement to get a laugh out of the women he was talking to. 

Now I don't want to minimalize his pain and I don't claim to know his heart, that in and of itself would be arrogant and judgmental but I have a message for people like this man. It comes from a challenge that Jeff Johnson gave us after we read through Judges 19 during a bible study. For those who don't know it's about a Levite and his Concubine who was raped and beaten by a group of sinners. The Levite then cut her into pieces and sent those pieces to every tribe, this started a war that led to the destruction of the Benjermenites.

After asking us why this type of gruesome story was in the bible Jeff asked us something else. He asked to hold the gaze of the concubine, to hold the gaze of this lonely, suffering woman who at that time had very little value in society other than being the Levites Property. He asked us to imagine her eyes, to see the pain and the oppression in them. 

In ministering to the poor we often don't hold the gaze of those we are ministering too. We fall into this mentality that they need us to give them money or help them out through the food pantry. We go to places like Christ's Body to serve the homeless and go by the rest of the day without letting it effect us. We get into a "Savior" mentality and forget to know them, to hear their stories, to hold their gazes. That's why I was so insistent that they young man who volunteered at Christ's Body go and meet some of our guys and talk to them. 

Chris Rice has a very point point in his song above, how many times have I seen the suffering on the faces of a poor person and looked down on it instead of holding his or her gaze. Jesus commands us to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, take care of the sick as well as the widow's and orphans. He even says in Matthew "Whatever you have done to the least of these, you have done it unto me" but I'm not sure I could truly care until I held the gazes of those I was serving. 

So hold the gaze of the poor and disenfranchised, hold it in your mind and remind yourself that they are just the same as you. That they have the same pain and struggles and need the same salvation we do, God has a heart of those, He wants to give us the same heart whether we are rich or poor. He wants us to bring in His kingdom that the poor in spirit will inherit (Matthew 5:2) and to do that we need to hold the gaze of the poor we encounter, to truly love them as God loves them so that when we get to heaven God can say to us "Well done my good and faithful servant" 

So hold the gaze, you might be holding the gaze of Christ!

God Bless

Jon Faulkner

10:31 Ministries 

Intertwine

July 21, 2011

"You mean you don't know any of our guys, go make some friends man, introduce yourself, go on, I'll handle this"

In my two months at Christ's Body I have never told a volunteer to stop what they're doing and go talk to the guys but today I felt I needed to. He was young, going into his freshmen year of High School and he'd been in to help us on numerous occasions, working in places where it's hard not to get to know our guys. Sure he could point out the guys on the shower list, tell me their names but if I asked him to tell me something about that he couldn't. So I felt the need to send him out to talk to some of our regulars and took over the shower duty that I was training him to do.

I've been learning and talking a lot lately about stories this summer, I've always loved hearing others stories as well as sharing my own but this summer I've learned the value of stories and the value of the people in our stories. I've learned that we all gain some kind of wisdom and knowledge that we can give to those younger than us and that God is always working in our stories to teach, guide, nurture and love us. But I've learned something else too that I've probably already known but didn't give much thought to, that is that our stories intertwine.

Our stories weave in and out of each other, run right with another persons and sometimes go completely separate directions. We step in and out of each others stories everyday, creating great memories and building strong relationships. In a week I am going to step out the stories of my Christ Body and homeless friends as well as the stories of the men and woman who I have lived, gone to class and grown with over the past two months. Our stories have intertwined and now we will have memories to tell much later and if we have a reunion they will intertwine again.

While it's true that these intertwining stories are only short we will forever be a part of that person's story. Long after I leave Sterling College those people like *Carrie (See "Illumination" July 17, 2011) who have been a part of my story there will continue to be a part of my story through memories. If you're reading this now our stories are intertwining!

When are stories intertwine we discover pain, we learn about each other, we can be fake or like I said last time we can be real! I believe it is the times when we are real that people will remember and those will be the best memories of our intertwining story lines. The times when the laughter was genuine, or the times when the tears flowed uncontrollably. The times we were together in happiness and pain, the best times and the hard times, the times when there were no walls, just raw us!

I will never forget guys like *Kevin, a homeless man who's questions made me think about my stereotypes about the homeless, or *Mike or *Joe or any of the guys I have met and spent time with this summer both at Christ's Body and Joshua Station. We will forever be a part of each others stories, so will my high school friends, my state choir friends, my college friends and especially my family.

So how does your story intertwine with others? is it long term like a good friendship or marriage or is it short term like this summer has been? What are your best memories and how do you live out your story! I pray that the people you encounter will push you, encourage you, love you, give you grace and help mold you and that you will be real and genuine when you're around them. So let's take down the walls and intertwine in a way that impacts each other and leaves lasting tattoos the hearts of the one's we touch with our real love!

Jon Faulkner
10:31 Ministries 

The Anatomy of Walls

July 18th 2011

"People always say you should stop smoking, but God's gotta take his time, I'm working on it, I've done away with drugs and alcohol, I'm a work in progress" - Anonymous

Walls have always had a major purpose in society, Judah was surrounded by walls that were supposed to protect the city-state, In Berlin after world war Two there was the Berlin wall that was meant to separate the Communists and the Democratic governments. There was a figurative wall there two called The Iron Curtain which again separated Soviets and Democrats. In the city walls and fences are put up for privacy, we have one of those on my own building. All these walls have the same theme and underlying purpose, to keep people out. Like the walls of our houses keep out the elements (most of the time.) But with the wall around Judah and the Berlin Wall there is another similarity, they came down, as do the walls that we build in our cities eventually.

In our own lives we put up walls too, you've probably heard me talk about my wall of accomplishments that I front when meeting new people. The walls purpose is to keep people from getting close and to make people like me, of course I've discovered this summer that people like me better when I'm real. There are other walls we build too, walls of pain, when serving in Dallas I remember the general attitude a lot of the kids displayed was "You can't understand my pain so don't even talk to me." I've put up my own walls of pain, an angry fasaude meant to chase people off and again to keep them from possibly touching me.

Walls are also two fold as in they can come from both people in a relationship. Part of my Messiah Trapping is the rescuer, if I constantly put up the wall of the rescuer and someone puts up the wall of pain to keep the rescuer from rescuing them they are going to push against each other and cause friction. However when both people are real and show their brokenness without walls then both people are going to benefit from the experience.

In homeless ministry one of the walls that has to be broken through is a wall of Stereotypes. I was raised all my life believing (and this wasn't my parents it was me) that people who smoked, drank, had intercourse before marriage, did drugs and other stuff couldn't possibly be Christians. It's true that the Bible speaks against these activities because they bring harm to God's temple (our bodies) but working at Christ's Body has taught me that addictions don't define your Christianity. Every day we get Christians in at Bible Study who , when they leave after lunch, are going to smoke, drink, do drugs and sell themselves for money. Now, not all of them are doing this, there are a lot of them who are trying to get their lives straightened out. In homeless ministry these two fold walls, the wall of stereotypes and the walls of pain can cause friction, we as ministers have to get over our walls of Stereotypes and even our walls of pain (and my wall of accomplishments) and be real and that will be disarming to those we are ministering too.

John Moorehead the Pastor at Christ's Body has told me multiple times as I prepared for bible study several weeks ago and prepare my sermon for Sunday night "Just be real, they can tell if you're being fake and they won't listen to you, they can really tell when you're being real"

I wonder what the world would be like if we could share out stories wall free; I have a feeling we would be really uncomfortable but what we would gain out of each other would be incredible. I must admit to you my friends that this is new territory for me, I'm so used to my walls that I don't really want to give them up. But if that's what God has called us to do, to put down our shells and be real with one another sharing our hurts, our hearts and our pains!

Jon Faulkner
10:31 Ministries

Illumination

July 17th 2011

"It is denominations, building walls, that are dividing Christianity"
"Jon Stop, it is not denominations that are dividing Christianity it is people like you that are dividing us."

It was in the first few months of school that I had this conversation with my (at that time) new friend *Carrie. We were sitting in her room talking to her and her roommate. Here I was a freshmen in college, but I was still a legalist who hated denominations and organized religion. This was the first time that anyone ever challenged me outside of my family, it was also the first time I took the time to stop and listen to anyone. After all *Carrie had a point, and she said with the authority that only she could say it with.

See up until this point I was "non-denominational" but in the sense that I claimed I would only go to a church that preached the word no matter what denomination. What I really meant at the time was "I'll only go to a church that teaches my version of the word, isn't Catholic and fits into my version of church. Coming from a big church with a big band and a legalistic pastor despite what I may have told people that's what I was looking for. Where God led me was completely opposite, a small(er) Presbyterian Church with a young pastor, a hint of modern worship and the old Hymns. Today I see the conservative theology as a bonus considering how happy I have become with the church Family God put me in.

This summer (those of us taking these classes for credit) were required to visit five churches from five different  faith backgrounds. I visited a modern conservative church, a catholic church, a conservative African American church, a liberal African American Church and tonight I visited a back to basics, good ole conservative bible believing church comprised of the homeless.

If anything else has challenged my former beliefs more than *Carrie it's been this summer. Every place I visited I found a united church, people who wanted nothing more than to hear the gospel. They all had their different ways about doing it but all except one (and it wasn't the Catholic one) preached an underlying message of "Love God, Love People." They all preached that we should be united as Christians, none preached against the others.

Reflecting on who I was with the knowledge I've gained through people like *Carrie and experiences like this summer I wonder how I could have held these beliefs. They seem pretty foolish, but then again back then I said and did some pretty foolish things. The truth is though, no matter how it's said these churches are right, we do need to be united but it's not our denominations that divide us, it's our own hearts.

We debate over who should teach and who shouldn't, what music is "holy" and what isn't. We get into toughs over minor theological issues and whether we should evangelize. The more I think about the more I think my good friend the Youth Director at Joshua Station is right when he says "I wish we could have a conversation about these things, that would bring us together" to which I responded "Over coffee maybe" Instead of fighting about these things and then thinking "The Baptists or the Presbyterians are wrong"

Downhere sings "It's less our houses, it's our hearts, a thousand miles apart" If we all are really serious about what the church is preaching maybe we should look into this more. Maybe then we wouldn't be so quick to call Rob Bell a "Heretic" without reading his book or listening to his viewpoint. We're never gonna get it right, we need to stop trying and just live under the same banner that unites the denominations "Loving God and Loving People" and then maybe we can sit down and have a conversation about these things even though we might not agree with the other viewpoints.

Of course this isn't easy, I'll probably still get heated over some things, so will you, don't worry, we're human too, but we're all worth Jesus time!

Jon Faulkner
10:31

When God Carries You.

July 13, 2011

"And Jesus Wept" John 11:35.

Tonight, out of need to renew my cell phone plan I headed down to Walgreens on Denver's 16th Street Mall. It was about 8:30 and I'd been traveling to the point where it seemed that if I wasn't at Christ's Body or Joshua Station I was on a bus or train. I stepped back out into the rainy evening and joined the hustle and bustle of the crowds of shoppers and business men. I decided I wanted a drink, so I began walking down the mall in search of a place I could find one.

I looked around me at all the shops and began to see the lights coming on in the large skyscrapers. I passed the Lite Rail station I could have taken home and instead kept meandering along with the Umbrella toting 8:45 shopping crowd. A few blocks later a man tried to get me to enter a Vietnamese Grill, he pointed with his sign and told me it was the best food on the mall. They all say that of course, just like if you go to New York City and walk down Broadway or Chicago and take a trip down the Magnificent Mile. I thanked the man and informed him I just wanted a Jones Soda or something. He informed there was a 7/11 down the block so I turned and headed that direction, I knew it was there, cause both my bus transfer stations are on either side of it.

As I turned the corner I looked up at the skyscrapers again and saw all the lights in a giant city turning on, bringing the skyline to life. I'm very tired tonight, so in my state of tired nostalgia I began to think about those skyscrapers. Then depression hit me like the hail that pelted the city earlier in the day. My thoughts turned dark, I was ashamed of these skyscrapers, not because they were skyscrapers but because they reminded me of myself. Of the times when I was like them in my own mind, tall and over powering, telling the people around me what to do, I hated myself for those days when I was a legalist, those two years I spent killing people spiritually because my pride made me think I knew the right way to do things.

Then I started thinking about my homeless friends, how selfish I would have been if I'd done this internship two years ago. I wondered how they were holding up with the 9th night in a row of bad weather approaching us from the Mountains.

I walked into the 7/11 and grabbed a coke, candy bar and pack of gum, paid and walked back into the rainy night. I started to weep quietly as I walked slowly across the courtyard of a band to throw away a wrapper still angry at who I used to be. As I approached a different Lite Rail station to catch a train to go home I started to feel all alone in that big city. I sat on the lite rail feeling this way and then I was jolted back to reality by my soda exploding when I turned the lid. It was as if God himself had shaken the coke bottle for that very reason, and knowing God, He would. I was quickly reminded of the fact that I wasn't alone in that city when the man behind me gave me a roll of toilet paper to clean myself, and the floor of the car up.

Tonight I experienced a part of my shadow, depression, I haven't struggled with it much lately but it, and the feelings it brings are part of my shadow. Whether we like it or not the shadow is a good thing to recognize, it shows us why we do certain things we do. Nights like tonight cause us to disintegrate but then God wakes up and pulls us back from it. We have to know it's there though, it will help us understand who we are.

I truly believe that in those times, when we are going head to head with our shadows, God is carrying us, and Jesus is weeping for us. Even though in those times we feel so far away from God that we don't even think He loves us anymore He is in fact carrying us through. In those times when we come face to face with the shadowy parts of our past He is carrying us. He was there holding me when I shared the story of my friend John's suicide this week, just like He was carrying you when you laid in your bed and wondered why you had to go through whatever it was you went through.

Dear friends, I don't know why I shared this with you, but I felt I needed to, I have no challenge other than to Live your life to the fullest. Discover and acknowledge your shadow, but remember it does not define you. Let God tell you over and over again who you are to Him, because When God Carries You, and any other time, He does not see your shadow, He only looks down at you with those crying eyes of grace and says "Hang on my precious child, you will be stronger on the other side"

As I walked home from the Lite Rail station tonight I was smiling, the depression of a few minutes before felt like a distant Memory. God and I talked, I thanked Him and then together we watched the lightning flash, a spectacle the likes of which I have never seen before.

Jon Faulkner
10:31 Ministries

Your Story

July 12, 2011

"The Definition of a Character is someone who wants something and has to overcome conflict to get it" - Donald Miller A Million Miles In A Thousand Years.


What's your story? Is it exciting, gripping, glorious, boring or the stuff of movies? What is the Story of your life? If I could travel around the country and hear everyone's story I would! Because I love stories, I love to tell them and I love to listen to them, one of my sisters in Christ told me that Stories are one of the things that I bring to the party.

This weekend, and throughout the summer we've talked about stories. About our origins, shalom, stirrings, arrows, shadows, illumination and elixar. About the places we've been that are our orientation, disorientation and new orientation. What does all this mean? It'd be hard to explain in one post, but it's fascinating to hear people tell their stories and seeing how similar or how different your experiences were.

God is co-writing our stories, He is drawing us in and inviting us into something bigger than us. Stirring us to move, He gives us faith and life and because we have those we can do the things He asks us to do. He puts us into each others lives to be encouragement, bring discernment, show love and sometimes to humble us. He allows tragedy so we can experience pain, He brings us through that so we can emphasize with others. He brings us Joy, Love and Hope so that we can share them with others, and most importantly has given us grace upon grace so that we can show grace to others. He allows us to make mistakes, to take our own paths at times but always welcomes us back with open arms.

God has a heart for us, He invites us into that heart and our experience there is evidenced by the way we live out our calling. These invitations are part of our stories, they allow our stories to intersect with people who are in need so we can see His heart for those.

Our stories define us, they remind us of God's trans formative work in our lives. This week my classmates and I are writing our spiritual Autobiography. We'll be looking back on our lives, the good and the bad, before we were saved and after and seeing where God was during that time, I encourage you to take some time and do the same.

Donald Miller asks us if we are living good stories, I think that I can finally say that I am, now that I am learning these things I believe God's taking me further into His heart and I can't wait to share wait to share with you what I find there as I continue to tell my story!

Jon Faulkner

10:31 Ministries.

Discovery of Noise

July 8th 2011 

I am a loud person, I talk loud, I sing loud, I am loud. If a week of silence taught me anything it taught me how loud my voice is and how different the world is without it. "I must admit" I told our teacher "I was mad as all get out when you told me to try this" "I know" he said "But your answers were much better thought out when you sat back and observed weren't they?" 

At the end of the week I've learned a lot, I've come to a place where I finally know who, and can be content with who I am. In the words of our Spiritual Formation teacher Millie "You are in a better place" I finally was forced to step back from my list of accomplishments and, like crossing a road, stop, look and listen. Through this week I not only discovered my noise, but how much I relied on that list of achievements as my identity and I learned how to love myself and find worth in myself without that list.  Today when I spoke I didn't hate my voice, I didn't have that stressed out edginess that often runs people off. Instead it sounded different, softer and I feel healthier than I have in a long time. 

I shared with you the story from Monday about walking the Labyrinth, I told you that God was taking me to some dark places and He continued to take me to those places throughout the week. This was the uncomfortable part of the silence, but I think that's why we have a hard time with this discipline. We don't want to slow down and go to those places but when we do what we find is closure and healing. God shows us He was there during that bad breakup or the day that you were told you had a terminal disease. He shows us His presence in those situations when we are hurt the most but we have to visit them to allow that healing to take place. 

But instead we drown it out with out noise, we're like the writer of the song Ordinary World "I turned on the lights the TV and the radio" just to drown out what God is saying. We present our walls and seek validation through our accomplishments, seeking compliments for all the things we've done, making noise to impress people who are just unimpressed. "We don't want to know your accomplishments, we really don't care about those, we want to know you" My roommate said to me over coffee. 

If sitting in Silence taught me anything it's that I am enough, that Jesus just wants me and so do the people I work with and call my friends. They don't want a front, they don't want a fake, they want the real thing. So I encourage you to sit in Silence, go out and sit under a tree, let God tell you who you are and tell you that you're enough for Him. Spend a week talking to no one outside of work, you'll be mad at me, you're friends will think you're crazy but in the end you will be a much healthier individual. 

I know I'm going to mess up, I'll still use my high pitched, edgy-attention-seeker voice again down the road, probably this summer. I know I'll mess up and use my accomplishments to keep people from getting to my heart, but hopefully when I do someone will tell me to go sit under a tree so that God can tell me that I am his child and that He is always with me!

God Bless

Jon Faulkner

10:31 Ministries 

The Mountain Stream

July 4th 2011

"Mountain Streams are so nice" my roommate said as our group of DUS interns all stepped into the stream that ran along the place where we were having class. We'd come up a thousand more miles in elevation to spend the morning walking a Labyrinth and enjoy a few hours of quiet time in a town that was lost in time. On all sides the rocky mountains rose and fell, pine trees rose high like guardians on all sides, the stream played on the rocks and fisherman stood casting hoping to catch something in the fast moving water. The place you only hear about and long to go, and if you get the chance, by all means go!

For anyone who's never done it, Labyrinth walking is a spiritual discipline. As we enter we are letting go, praying to God that he will take our insecurities and requests. When you walk through sometimes you are close to the center and other times you are wondering if you're ever going to get near it again. When you arrive at the center it symbolizes the heart of God and you just sit there and lavish the time of prayer and reflection. As you leave it is to symbolize you returning to the world.  I've wanted to practice this discipline for about a month and a half, after I read about it in Christian George's "God-ol-o-gy" I never thought when I did it how deeply it would affect me.

First off, my relationship with God has always been one of conversation, he knows I need to hear that still small voice so it speaks a little louder to my heart. I don't always listen to it, but because of my silence that has consumed my life for the week because of the challenge I was ready to hear that voice. I'd also awakened this morning with a deep sadness and depression dragging my heart down, that prepared me for my time in the Labyrinth.

As I began God entered the quiet little valley and began the conversation, I admitted I had things I needed to let go of and he began revealing to me all the things I needed to let go of and then he began taking me to the darkest places of my life. "I was here" he would whisper "I was here when John died, I was here when you felt alone, I was there, before you knew me as Lord and savior, I was there" He would then stop me and have me look around. Two of my fellow interns were following me at this time, He would show me that at times I felt alone, or at times I felt close to others and then He'd gently whisper again "I was there" He would also show me how far I was from the center at times and it was very symbolic of how sometimes in our lives we feel far from God.

Once I reached the center I had to sit down, I had to just take in that wonderful beautiful heart that is the heart of God. "I am Here!" He would whisper in this place, "I am here" and I felt his presence in a way that I haven't felt in a long time. I sat there for a second, hugged one of my fellow travelers who was also in the center and began my journey back. The way back God kept me moving all the while whispering "I will be there, be still" reminding me that as I hurried towards my future wherever that is He would be there with me and that I needed to take time to be still!

The river is like us in the labyrinth sometimes, it rushes to its destination not even knowing where that might be. Sometimes the stream moves fast and sometimes it is soft and quiet, flowing slowly. There are times is our lives when we need to move quickly, times when deadlines, (like the one on the paper I'm starting soon) are upon us and we need to finish them. Then there are times we need to slow down, I've said it before and this week I'm finding out how true this is. Sometimes we just need to sit on top of a rock by a mountain stream after walking a Labyrinth and eat our lunch and spend time with God in solitude.

Corporate and community worship are tremendous things, they give a chance to spend time with God together, they allow us to share in an experience and experience God's presence in a community. But God needs to get us alone sometimes, He really does his best work when we slow down and show Him the person we've been hiding from the world.

"The best way to love Jon" our teacher said "Is to tell him to sit under a tree and let God tell him who he is" I encourage you to sit under a tree and let God tell you who you are. Don't let friends or activities define you or how much you are worth but instead let Jesus tell you who you are. Walk a Labyrinth, then find a pastor or Christian friend to talk to and share that experience with, to help you unpack it. Figure out the best way that others can love you by sitting under a tree and letting God tell you who you really are!

God Bless
Jon Faulkner
10:31 Ministries

The Ministry Burn-Out

July 3rd 2011

It had been almost one year since Mark Tee-Collins had left the city for a getaway and the things he'd seen in that six years of street ministry through the two churches he'd planted had left him feeling a whole mix of emotions. So when he left to see me in Sterling late in October of 2009 there was some major concern with him coming alone. But he had left his niece and cousin in San Francisco for that express purpose, to come visit a friend and escape the big city, and ministry. Around four in the morning California time a very tired, distressed and depressed Mark was speeding along at over one hundred miles an hour when he collided with a Semi. The news was staggering to all of us in the 10:31 family, Mark had helped found the ministry and had funded it with his own money. 

I didn't get to attend the funeral and I haven't made any trips to his grave side. Not because I don't miss the man or have no respect for him but because I haven't had the chance to fly out to Atlanta to see him. About four weeks after his passing my dad mailed me a letter, he told me that a lot of times in inner-city ministry it is very easy to get burnt out. My dad explained that the Jews understood this and that's why every seven years everyone quit working, the slaves were freed and the debts were forgiven. It was a chance for them to get away from the stress and take time for their souls. 

In America I'm starting to believe that we forget the value of our souls. We fill them up with Chicken Soup when they are down and tell them to keep fighting one more pay day. In Ministry we get so caught up in our "Evangelical Responsibility" that we forget that even Jesus stopped preaching and went into the wilderness every now and then. We minister to the lost and the broken and the needy and the hurting that we don't take the time to minister to ourselves, or let others minister to us. 

So our days are filled with trying to apply the next greatest idea for our ministry, or saving the kids, youth, drunks and whoever else we might have to minister to. We go at it 24/7, 365 until we experience the Ministry Burn-Out. I often equate being a ministry major or teacher with being scatter brained because I am scattered brained and most of my close friends and teachers are the same way. I wonder if that comes from not taking the time to rest, to take a vacation, to go to the farm or just go home. I wonder if the scatter brain feeling is because I am beginning to burn myself out by trying to do as much as I possibly can. If it's a sign my soul really needs to take a break and do something for itself. 

On the first day here in Denver we were told we needed to take "Artist Dates," to go out and do something that our soul longs to do. Scatter brained Ministry Major me didn't really like this idea, like I said before I love being busy and doing a hundred different things. However my soul and my mind can't take that kind of schedule at the rate they could when I was sixteen or seventeen. If I hadn't taken the time to care for myself I probably would have been burned out by now as I've never, ever worked in the city or with anyone who wasn't the same as me, white-middle classed. 

Today I encourage you to be selfish, go do something you want to do so that you don't get burnt out with whatever it is you're doing. Go out and watch old movies or ride a bike or read a book or play with your dog or whatever you choose to do, do something for yourself. I encourage you to do this so you don't get burned out on Ministry, jobs, school and even friends. Go and do something for yourself, your soul will thank you for it.


Jon Faulkner
10:31 Ministries 

Silent and the Bleeding Places

July 1st 2011

"Jon I have a discipline I want you to practice, do you know what that is?" he asked me

I knew the answer but I didn't want to say it, "Silence" I finally answered, and with his confirmation I grew furious. The last thing I wanted to be was silent, and he was asking me to do it for a week, to be silent while I was in the community. Sure I could talk when I was outside of the house and separate from the others, like when  I'm at work, but when I'm here with my fellow interns I have taken a vow of silence.

Now if you know me, you know that I am horrible at this concept. This is not a new discipline for me, I've tried it before and that's how I know I"m horrible at it. I like to talk about insights I or others might have, I love to talk in general, the conversation constantly draws me in. For this reason this next week is going to tough on me but hopefully in the end will be very beneficial to my spiritual walk. I have a hard time observing, but I can see the benefit in it.

It was totally dark "Put your hand in front of your face" David said "Can you see it?"

The Bleeding Places are the places where we come in our brokenness, a place where we get away from the world to deal with or numb our pain. We were in one of these bleeding places today, they call it the Dark Tunnel and it's a tunnel where the homeless kids and adults go to sleep and shoot up. We worked out way up the tunnel by flashlight and then ten of us sat in the dark while our friends and guides talked about the tunnel and these bleeding places. We prayed over it and left all of us feeling something.

I think when you live in a small town you don't see these bleeding places or the broken people. They are there, but they are not out front in the public eye and even though the city tries to cover them up they are still evident to those who are looking, they are not so much in small towns. I think things will be different when I make my summer trip back to Albany and then again when I return to Sterling in August.

I will be more alert to the bleeding places, the dark places, the hurting places. These are the places where hurting people go, where people who just want to numb the pain of living on the street or who's lives seem unbearable. This is where they go and these are the places where God is whispering, "come back child, I will lift you up, it won't be perfect, but I will lift you up"

During today's tour I was totally silent and I think it helped me to realize the darkness and brokenness of the places and in my own life. It helped me to process the experience and seek God's heart on the matter. I encourage you to go out in your town and find the broken places, find the places where God is whispering and coursing through as a healer and friend. Maybe in your brokenness, when you find these places, God will whisper to you "Come back child, I will lift you up, it won't be perfect, but I will lift you up"

God Bless
Jon Faulkner

Preach it...Brother!

June 30th 2011

"You should dumb down your message, they aren't smart enough for that"

I get that every time I'm about to step out on stage or give a bible study, it's like a bad penny, it just keeps turning up and it's a lie from the devil.

I lead bible study at Christ's Body today, I'm an intern there and for those of you who don't know it's a day shelter for the homeless. They come to get food, clothes, a liaison for Social Services, a shower and do some laundry. It's located in the Capital Hill district of Denver Colorado, on the corner of Lincoln and 8th Avenue. We serve 80 to 100 guys a day by the grace of God.

Now this is the first time I've encountered or worked with homeless men and women. So naturally I have had to deal with some stigma's that had developed over the years of small town life and Law and Order re-runs. One of these preconceived notions is that they are not educated in any way, one of the lessons I've learned recently is that they are very educated.

I taught on Colossians 1:15-20 today, if you've read it you know that it is very heavy theologically and Christologically. Paul uses big words to explain big concepts in a way that we, as broken human beings, can understand it. So as I sat in the hallway finishing up my duties with the showers with my bible next to me the thought once again crossed my mind "You need to dumb this down, they won't get it" by now I've learned to ignore it.

You can't water down your message and if you do and you're not real then they will be able to see right through it. The homeless understand the need for living water, they understand that they have each other and God and when your passion is fake then you will lose the room altogether. What I found by not watering down my message was this; the homeless possibly understand the gospel, or are more passionate about the gospel then me or my friends who are much more theologically inclined then I am.

On more than one occasion they would begin expanding on a point in a way I hadn't thought to expand on it. Common knowledge about Jesus and the cross to us becomes a tender morsel of knowledge for them to share to each other. Theological concepts that we take for granted they talk about like it's a new revelation that they have just come up with. They speak passionately when they speak and it will move you to tears as you realize what Jesus means when he says "Blessed are the poor in spirit for they will inherent the kingdom" Matthew 5.

What if, as Christians, we had the same enthusiasm about the gospel, about the word? What if we took Social Gospel and lived it with the same enthusiasm as Billy Graham? Or, what if we found a nice balance of the two and were as passionate as the guy who at the end of the table today who could have led the study himself? Would the world see us as apathetic, rule making, ignorant hypocrites? Or would they see people who were passionate about the word and because they knew what it said lived it out. What if we took Jesus seriously when he says "Love me" and comes to us as a grimy, uncared for homeless man or a stressed out single mother. Would the world be radically changed by our desire to see it radically changed, and with the word as our sword and us living out the great commission passionately the world would be radically changed.

The next time I do bible study or preach at Christ's Body I know I will think "Maybe I should dumb this down" but I also know that Christ will take over and I will be a vessel and I will be given the ability to preach the gospel I am doing my best to live out. And next time the homeless man at the end of the table starts going on and on about the son and the messiah and the word of God I am going to let him keep on going and say amen because he has a passion that right now I can only pray for.

Jon Faulkner
10:31 Ministries

"You're Blessed"

June 28th 2011

Brokenness, what does that word mean to you? To me its something to be disliked, something to try to get away from, something I don't want to deal with. I'm happy putting on a front that say "I've got it all together" I want to turn my eyes when I see the man flying the sign and I really hate thinking that I might very well be broken.

I don't like pain, I don't like thinking I'm weak, I don't like not having it all together. I can't take it, I can't process it and I DO NOT want to admit it. But I must confess, I am broken, I am messed up, I have a visual disability and I hide behind my list of things I've accomplished. Like a coward I try my best to not let people see this, to no be vulnerable, to not be real, like letting someone know me in my true broken self would be suicide. The truth though is ever beside me, always there like a bad hair day on yearbook photo day.

Today and Tonight I've had many conversations about this, about my walls and about being broken and hurting and I've thought to myself "What if we were perfect?" What if as soon as we became Christians we became instantly Holy, we became instantly the model of perfect. Would the homeless guy on the street effect us at all? Would the news story about genocide be news to us? Would the loss of a loved one still tear us apart?

Maybe there's a reason that God doesn't heal our brokenness, maybe there's a reason we still struggle with the pain of our old life long into our Christian Walks. Maybe God is on to something when he doesn't instantly fix our "problems" overnight. A reason that God sees the need to give us "grace upon grace" because he wants us to be broken, he wants us to struggle, to become "Long Suffering"

Now I know what you're thinking, how can a God who's loving want us to struggle and be broken? Don't you Christians always talk about being made whole and new through Christ? Well we do, but also through Christ we realize that the body of Christ was broken and therefore we too have an area of brokenness that we must reconcile and use for positive affirmations of faith.

The fatherless might use their brokenness to mentor younger fatherless, the widow might use her brokenness to minister to other widow's, the disabled man might use his brokenness to reach out to another man who is disabled. We feel when we are broken, we hurt and we laugh and we cry with each other and we are blessed by this fellowship we share with one another.

Here's what Matthew 5:9-10 says

"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

 "You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom." (MESSAGE) 

We are blessed when we learn these things, earlier the passage says "you're blessed when you learn to be content with yourself" We are blessed when we realize that we are all broken and through that brokenness we are blessed, through our vulnerability we are made whole, through relationship we find healing and are blessed by one another's brokenness. 

Jesus understood that we needed to be broken and realize we are broken. I'm done building walls, I'm done trying to keep people out, I need to realize that like everyone else I need to react with my brokenness, be vulnerable and live in community with other people who are made whole through each others brokenness. 

Man growth hurts, and this is gonna take awhile. 

God Bless

Jon Faulkner 

10:31 Ministries 

The Sanctuary

June 26th 2011

The city is a very busy place, there are people and trains, buses and banks blaring music everywhere. The temptation is to wrap yourself up in the busy atmosphere. To fall in line with the business men and their nice white suits and clean black jackets. To become part of this incredible state of doing something whether it's talking on your cell phone to changing the song on your I-Pod while you walk briskly down a crowded sidewalk doing the exact same thing everyone else is dong. Walking briskly down a crowded sidewalk talking on their cell phones and....

So many times in my life I find myself doing this figuratively, I've grown up in small towns, but lived at the same pace as I do when I blend in with the busy business men walking to work as I go to my next bus stop on my way to work. I have always had something to completely consume my time. A Job, the bands I've been in, 10:31 Ministries, AWANA's, Youth Groups, Kids Club, drama and the list goes ever onward. I remember in High School when the Marching Band season would start she would say "See you in January" and in January she'd say "See you after theater season is over." 

As a teen I simply dismissed these comments as my mother being humorous. That is until I'd hit a wall half way through the semester and I would have to take a trip to Wal-Mart or whatever. I had a monstrous social life born out of a need to be recognized and loved by those who saw me. My Youth Pastor Lance would always tell me "You've got too many irons in the fire man" and that too I dismissed as foolishness. 

When I arrived at college I continued doing the same thing. I tried out for the praise band (didn't make it) started doing Kids Club, drama, church, 18 credit hours, 10:31 Ministries, Music and again the list when on and on. Again I heard the same thing, this time from my good friend Paul "You're doing too much man, you need to slow down" but I was set in my ways, I was as stubborn as an ox. I had an ax to grind, I had to prove to people I could do whatever I put my mind to, that my disability had nothing to do with what I could and couldn't handle. 

Then came this summer, "We want you guys to have solitude time, to find a third place, where it's just you and God" they told us. "We also want you to do something selfish, something that your soul wants to do" and these two things we were supposed to do once a week. Now I've never been good at the hour of bible study or hour of time in the word. God and I seem to function really well off the fifteen minutes of devotions I have in the morning. That seems to allow God and I to discuss deeper things during the day and into the night. I wasn't ready to have solitude time, I wasn't ready to do NOTHING and I wasn't ready to be selfish. 

I did thought, I work two jobs on Wednesday and Thursday, one at Christ's Body and then down at Joshua Station. But I have the time in my schedule, and my soul has found a need, to go to a coffee shop after work. To unwind and spend that time with God, thinking, praying and reading. This has become my sanctuary, my "third place" as they call it, my chance to slip into the hands of God and just rest and relax. 

This isn't going to be popular with you more conservative readers but I didn't go to Church today. Instead I found myself sitting at my third place, sipping a cappachino and talking to God at my favorite place in Denver. I don't know why I did it, I was actually planning on attending Church of the City, but instead that's where God led me, and it was good. 

Sometimes we need to take off our suits, we need to stop doing and take time to be. This is the hardest concept for me, my I-Pod is always on and my Cell Phone is an extension of my ear. I do everything I can think to do for others nowadays, even wash dishes to the surprise of my roommate, but in all that doing I never be. I think to myself "If I don't get this shower cleaned out that I won't be a good witness to the next person who showers here" Then I forget to go sit in the back with the homeless guy and just be there listening to his stories. I forget to go be with God and I forget to take care of myself. 

I have such a hard time with that last one, but it is really good just to sit down and do something your soul longs to do. It's healing, relaxing and down right healthy, but we don't do that enough. I encourage you to find a place where you can slow down, take out the ear buds and surgically remove your phone. That you would take time to stop doing and be like Mary in the bible and just be. As my boss Pastor John Moorhead told me on my first day "there is a time to be Mary and there is a time to be Martha, don't always be a Martha" I tell you my friends, you will find yourself to be much more relaxed and life to be a little less hectic when you find your third place and spend some time with your soul. 

I'm gonna go put on my robe now and watch some 1950's Serials, because that's what my soul longs for at the moment, then I am going to sleep. I pray you all will do the same, only do what your soul wants, not what mine does. 

God Bless

Jon Faulkner

10:31 Ministries